Today's Post is Dedicated to...

Tom Hardy's mouth



Let's just say I'd love to be the lip balm in his front pocket if you know what I mean.



And I think you do.


Filed under reason number 36 to go and see Inception.

Weekend Funny - Missing Missy

From: Shannon Walkley

Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.20am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.



This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.





From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

That's just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster





From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.




From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww




From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww




From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww




From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.


*



*

Inception - review

I've been replying to comments/reviews on this movies at other sites and decided to just copy and paste my most recent response here. In a nutshell, Inception rocked. Go See It.

Comment originally Posted at Romance Divas edited for this blog:

I saw it yesterday and absolutely loved it! Now that I think about it, the visuals in terms of playing with space could have been more mind-bending, but this nitpick never occurred to me until it was brought to my attention.

I do remember thinking there was a Matrix feel to the movie, but not that I necessarily wanted more of that feeling because it wasn't the visuals/special affects that got me, it was the story/mystery and the characters--their interactions and what made them tick. Tis movie might have been less, not more, interesting/thrilling if the director had paid too much attention to the effects and not enough to the story/plot ::coughcoughstarwarsprequelscoughcough::

I thought the pacing was great and was on the edge of my seat (figuratively) for the entire movie. It was a very 'smart' movie and you really had to pay attention to what was being said/happening on screen. The story of the love story was heartrending (for me at least). I thought the cast was solid and they all felt fleshed out (not just 'types). And I guarantee the ending will stay with you...

Lastly, Leonardo DiCaprio? I get you now.



Always thought you were an okay actor, but you really are going to be one of the great ones of your generation and not just a "celebrity". You carried the weight of the story/movie on your shoulders easily as the star and had real chemistry with everyone you appeared on screen with.

pps- Oh,and Leo? Ditch the Viking movie plans with Mel 'Mad Max' Gibson. Seriously.

Not a Fun Week

Disclaimer: writing this on the run because I'm on my way out the door, so haven't checked grammar/typos.

Had to deal with ongoing estate legal issues (been going for over a decade). Also got a call from the doctor's office re the results my annual check up and will need to do some additional tests. Plus some other sucky stuff re a court case and another family member came up. Also read a terrible, horrible, not good, very bad book. Kept reading because it was a light read with lots of sexual tension and likable (albeit paperthin) hero/heroine. But there was much suckage otherwise. I threw it in the garbage as soon as I finished. Will not be reading more from this author.

As for my own writing... meh. I struggled with the opening scene, writing it over and over again. The story starts when my heroine is fired from her job, by her boss who also happens to be her boyfriend. I tried it from so many angles, with him doing the firing, then with an HR person. I started the scene right before the firing, in media res, then right after while she was still in the office. Then I tried starting the scene at the point she got home. then later on that night, then the next day/week doing different things (moping, excercising, job hunting, etc). Tried it with her alone or with different combinations of secondary characters. I finally hit upon the opening scene that works with the right combination of characters, but haven't made much progress beyond that due to the sucky stuff happening.

Good news is, we'll be seeing Intception later on today!! I honestly can't remember the last movie I saw (thought worth seeing) in theatres, it's been that long. It might have been The Dark Knight. Maybe Chris Nolan needs to make more movies.



edited to correct name of movie.

Rom-Com Recharge

I had me a Meg Ryan marathon today: Sleepless In Seattle, You Got Mail, and When Harry Met Sally.

I've never watched the first two movies before, and while I have seen When Harry Met Sally, i haven't watched it in years.

What great movies, full of heart and humor and some real heart-squeezing emotional moments. They all had strong characterization of likable protagonists and great portrayals of secondary relationships outside of the developing romance. I'll be adding all of them to my DVD collection.

So now I'm in a great 'feel-good' mood and what's more I'm all excited about next project. To be honest I've been struggling between three ideas--none of them seemed a go. Now the one that's pure romance with no suspense/mystery subplot or touch of paranormal has really grabbed hold of me and I've got a couple of outline pages written.

Housebound

After staying up late again to finish The Enchanted Emporium, I stumbled out of bed still half-asleep in the pre-dawn to turn up A/C and promptly slipped and fell down the stairs. Luckily I fell on my ass (story of my life) and my butt cushioned (yar-har-har) most of the fall but my left foot doesn't like me much at the moment. And its dislike grows more with each passing hour. Not the ankle. More the heel. Anywho, 6 days straight a gym is still pretty good, and I do need to focus on working out some plot stuff.

Btw, speaking of cushioned butts, I saw this ridiculous commerical for the first time yesterday and I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Goals for Today

1. Hit the gym. I was going to take the day off after going 5 days in a row, but figured 30mins on the treadmill or stairmaster won't kill me. maybe... ::winces::


1a. On the way home from gym pick up new Jennifer Ashley book (follow up to The Madness of Ian Mackenzie. squeee!)

2. Write, write, write. I would love to finish chapter one on the new wip today. Had a tiny crisis of faith, so to speak about the wip yesterday. I checked some Coming Soon lists at a couple of publishers and Holy Paranormal Plethoras(!) Straight contemporaries, westerns or historials were slim pickings. My wip is mostly contemporary with a slight para/scifi element but it's there and intrinsic to the story.

I just wonder at the appetite for paranormal the general readership has and if it will continue or will people tired of it if there's not enough variety offered. And will they tired of it by the time the wip is finished? (lol. cause this is really all about me.)

A quick book rec: Tanya Huff's The Enchanted Emporium.



Blurb:

The Gale family can change the world with the charms they cast, and they like to keep this in the family. Alysha Gale is tired of having all her aunts try to run her life, both personally and magically. So when the letter from her Gran arrives willing her a "junk" shop in Calgary, Alysha jumps at the chance. It isn't until she gets there that she realizes her customers are fey. And no one told her there's trouble brewing in Calgary-trouble so big that even calling in the family may not save the day...

I stayed up till after 1am reading this book last night. I'm approximately half way through and don't anticipate it's going to fall apart on me in the last half. Very enjoyable, fun,fast read. Love the characters and the 'Aunties' and its a very interesting take on the world of witches, sorcerors and the Fey.

One caution there's some cousinly lovin' going on in the book. It's more implied than detailed--the Gale family likes to keep 'the power' all in the family so to speak--so if you're squeamish about that. Not the book for you.

Also I did find certain elements at the begining a bit confusing. I'm pretty sure this is book one (a stand alone?) but parts of it read as if it was a later book in a series and there was an asumption that readers were familiar with certain things/characters.

Still, dude, I stayed up way past my bedtime to read! I've had more DNFs or Meh reads than I care to remember so this one is a winner on that score.

You Sir Are No Gentleman!

I haven't posted a joke in ages, so here's one of the most recent to hit my inbox.




A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.

For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting
sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts.

A woman walks past and says, snickering,
"If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."

He raised an eyebrow and replied,
"If you were better looking it would lift itself."

New Beginnings

I’ve been off work since Thursday and I have the rest of this week off.

I Cannot Tell You How Much This Break Is Needed.

To that end going to try for a re-boot of life in general.

Have made it to the gym every day since Thursday. Which means I’ve gone to the gym more in the pass 3 days than I have in the last nine months. :-/ I’ll be trying my darnedest to keep it up because at my last check-up, I found out I had high blood pressure. First time in my life, but not surprising (given the level of stress at work). Plus doc has been after me to lose 20lbs for years, but he's being kind. I need to lose more like 30-40lbs.

Also finally started on new story. Brand. New. No baggage. No cleaning up, fleshing out, deleting or adding stuff. I did try to write an outline, got a good idea of characters/turning points in the story, but I think I have to write it out some because I can nail down a loose outline.

Will also be spending time with friends, doing some gardening and giving the house a good clean because… damn. ::looks around::

Hopefully will read some good books. Thinking of getting a pedi/mani but I’m doing a spa day with BFF for our birthdays later this month (we were born a week a part), so saving my pennies for that.

Still have fingers crossed on the werewolf story but having my doubts… Anywho, 200 words on new wip and counting. We’ll see what it is by tonight. Here’s to new beginnings!