And no matter how much logic tells you it's *not* you, there's always that 0.01% niggling doubt in the back of your mind.
You could've brushed, flossed, then gargled with unicorn joy juice and chewed on a sprig of mint hand-picked by fairies in the Elysian fields, before you left the house, but just you come within a whiff of some peep with breath bad enough to knock a buzzard off his feed. For a split second you think (after holy mother of god wtf?!?): Could it...? Naw. but... what if?...could it possibly...Be..Me?!!? *surreptitiously cups hand over mouth. Breath out. Inhale. Twice.* Nope. Not me. But... *eats 3 sticks of gum* just in case.
Ditto for the SUS (stranger underarm stench). Cross paths with a fetor farmer on some humid summer day and you kinda do this move where you turn your head to the side, chin to shoulder, eyes demurely downcast, then take an experimental sniff of your own pit. Nope. Not you. *phew*. Which you already knew already!!! ::whispers::--> but you had to be sure. You know. Just in case...
I stopped in a clothing store today on my way to grocers. Just becoz, okay!? Just becoz. Things happen. Universe keeps turning. whatevs. Anywho... I decided to try on this really cute skirt. Went into the change room, lifted the hem of my dress to step into the skirt when....., erm.... how shall I put this delicately? TUNA!! SALMON!!! 2 day old Trout!! Shrimp and mayonnaise left out in the sun!! What da hell?! Not me, though!!! NOT. ME. ugh. But for a brief minute I did want to assume some double-jointed-leg-behind-the ear-sniff-the-yoni-pass-the-Summer'sEve yoga-type pose.
Just to be sure.... lol.
Becoz, that was some classic BBO ish right there and then! (watch the video. lol)