Snowball Game

Snowball Game


Today's timewaster has been brought to you by the letters V and J.
~The Procrastination Station.

Favourite Flavour?

Cocalatta-let-me-at'em-licious?


Or Vanillawd-have-mercy-mercy-me?



(They're all good from far, but far from good. But who's looking at their faces? heh.)

You Are Rocky Road Ice Cream

Unpredictable and wild, you know how to have fun. You're also a trendsetter who takes risks with new things. You know about the latest and greatest - and may have invented it. You are most compatible with vanilla ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Merry Christmas!

Wishing you all the very, very best for this holiday season.

May the next few days be full of good eats, fine drink,

family, friendship, love, laughter,

wonderful little moments of surprising insight

and a deep sense of well being.

Love,
Jaye

Sling Shot Santa

Sling Santa

**hint, click to start game, click again to pull catapult back

A Little Santa kink

A little Santa Humour

Smack the Penguin

Smack the Penguin

**warning, game highly addictive

White Trash Xmas

Link

Nominees for most #$%! Xmas prezzies of 2005 are:

Item 1: A night light received from coworker. That's right. A night light. I'm a grown ass woman. What in da hell no! do I need a night light for, unless it's attached to a grown ass, very foine, willing and able, man? (then trust me, it won't be the light that's getting plugged... in.) I don't ever recall having a conversation with this woman, whereby I indicated I was afraid of the dark. I got over that particular fear well over 30 yrs ago. And my teenaged son sure as sugar doesn't need a night light either.

And speaking of my offspring. This is part of what's printed on the side of the box, in BIG bold letters: "WARNING: This product contains materials known to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive illnesses."

wtf?

I mean WTF?

I won't even get in to the whole pissivity of not being particularly close to this person, although we work closely, but now feeling obligated to buy her a (non-toxic) gift.

Item 2. Got in to work this morning to see a bag of marshmallows on my desk, with a little gift tag attached: You ain't been so good, so is the scoop, for Christmas you get nuthin but snowman poop. She (different coworker) thought this was cute. Here's what I think is cute:

Roses are red,
Green is the grass,
Kiss my ass.


Has the whole damn world gone insane?

I *totally* realize that Xmas is not about the gifts you receive, but com'on now. I would have been far happier with a verbal "Merry Christmas" and a quick hug. It really is *the thought* that counts. If you're going to be thoughtless, don't bother.

To quote from this column at Economics.com (all bolds mine)- "At the simplest level, giving gifts involves the giver thinking of something that the recipient would like... ...and then buying the gift and delivering it.

If you can't do that first step, bolded, save your money.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

You Are a Fruitcake!

You taste like nothing else in this world. And get ready, you're about to get tossed!

I'm on the right track.

According to the Lulu Book Title Analyzer, my current manuscript title has a 63.7% per cent of being a best seller!

::picks self up off ground after collapsing in paroxysm of hysterical laughter::

But ya know what else has got me tickled pink? I'm loving this work-in-progress.

Finally.

And right away....

The writer in me tries to figure out how to give someone a happy ending in this bizarre tale: Woman: Fiance fed me rats.

Progress

Finished the fight scene. It didn't go the way I thought it would. I expected to write a sort of play by play action/reaction choreography: He moved left and swung his fist out, slamming into the guy's gut, yaddah yaddah yaddah., but it didn't quite come out that way, instead it was rendered in broad strokes, rather concise details, with a couple of gory moments highlighted for effect:


A head rolled to her feet, death grimace leering up at her. Yancy jumped back with a yelp and felt a heavy tug on her robe. She looked down at the kinlin tearing at her clothing, teeth bared to bite.

She screamed, and her hand came down hard to box him off. He sprang from her. Dropped, curled up in a tiny ball. A baby's wails coming from his little flopping form. And Callum’s knife plunged to the hilt through one eye.


It still needs, er, tweaking... ::coughcough:: but I'm really happy with it. And it changed the dynamics of the character's relationship. How could it not, when they've fought side by side? So that was cool too.

I hope to have a good writing day, today. I'll check in later.

Scottish Instinct

Luv'd this commercial for William Lawson scotch! A really cute send up of the signature scene from Basic Instinct.



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Sharon Stone is beautiful, as always, and the guy in the kilt?
hummanahhummanahhummanah!

Heads up on vid swiped from Genita Low, who has a great companion post re writing visual details.

**Seriously, any amongst ye ken who de fine laddie in the kilt be? Och!

::running away before Maili has an apoplectic fit.:: Blame Connie Mason, Maili, everything I know about scottish brogue, I learnt as a wee lass at her kneeeeee!

Och!

::snick::

Hope Mom ain't reading this....

You are Kama Sutra sex


What kind of sex are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

The thing about 'Ing'.

*sigh*

So, I'm reading this book (which shall remain unnamed to protect the guilty-where-the-frig-was-my-editor-party) and it doesn't take me long to notice this author has a suffix fixation. To wit, a thing for ing. Tossing, grabbing, riding, throwing, rising, assessing, holding, oh my!

WTF?

A lot of authorly types will tell you those 'ings' could be a red flag signaling weak construction, and that you should use the more dynamic verb tense: Tossed, grabbed, threw, etc. I sorta understood the reasoning, or at least those 'ed' ending verbs *sounded* a lot stronger to my ear. ::shrug::

But in this book I noticed the real danger of 'ings'-- you can hide a whole lot of *no real progress* with those little devils.

If the character is walking, he's not only in action but the reader is waiting for the conclusion, ie "walking to the store", "walking then got run over by a pack of ravaging cannibal squirrels". That sort of thing.

Except, with this writer, the conclusion never comes. Nothing decisive really happens, except we get palmed off to another 'ing' and then another. Ings can be boring as hell, plus they clutter the page up without adding anthing to the story.

The more dynamic non-ing verbs demand a conclusion. They're declarative. And not only that, they require a bit of glue, some explanation, or softening around the edges to smooth the way to the next declarative statement. You can't get away with declarative after declarative after declarative, the way you can with those smooooth 'ings'. The prose would be way too choppy.

'ings' can be a crutch to a writer, giving the impression of action, and excitement. But true excitement and action are found in plot and characterization. I'm not suggesting doing away with 'ings', but too much use can severely weaken your writing. Which is what the pros were talking about. I get it now.

Anger Management

When you write a scene where a character is angry, don't just have that character giving 'tude: stomping, stalking, striding, glaring, snarling, shooting off sarcastic one-liners, to show just how PISSED they are. It's shallow. There's one note there. One flavor, one seasoning. Not very interesting, especially if this goes on for long, or repeated every single time the character gets ticked.

In truth, anger is a complex emotion, and while the most obvious outward manifestation of it may be found in the list above, as a writer, if you want that character to be real, and to have some resonance with your readers, you'll have to do better.

Check out this link for starters. So, your character is angry; but why? And I don't mean because some other character lied/betrayed them/ate the last Twinkie. I mean what is at the root of their anger?

Fear of lost of control? Well why is control so important to them? Where and when did 'not being in control' affect them so adversely? Is the anger covering up guilt? Why do they feel guilty? Where does it stem from? Should they really own this guilt, or is a bit of misdirection, does the guilt carry from another time/place/situation?

See what I mean about conveying anger as more than this big blast of a single emotion? It's made up of a multitude of smaller emotional particles, that are just as potent, if not more.

Uncover those emotions, dig for that history, then use your knowledge to season that scene correctly. Give the nuances/hints of what's *really* tormenting your character. They'll love you for it. Really, they will. They'll open up and tell you more.

Each time they (you) show their anger, there’ll be growth or that one bit more of exploration into background and personality. It gives the character depth and adds layers and context to the scenes. Most importantly, the reader will (want to) be with you every step of the way.

::stepping down off soapbox::

Nuff Said

A number of peeps have posted about spam email and/or coments lately. So I thought this link was kinda cute/timely.

Soapbox

On Writing

I'm not the fastest writer in the world (obviously) but my goal has always been to write (get published) one book per year. Maybe every nine months, tops. Seemed reasonable at the time. Then I look around and peeps were talking about 2 books per year, or every 8 months, tops. Plus novellas, if you could swing it. Not to mention all the marketing, etc.

::picture me with my eyes crossed and about to drop in a dead faint.::


Reading about, and watching, the outputs of authors like PBW, and Holly Lisle, just make me want to curl up in a foetal position and start gnawing on my manscript. lol.

Anywho, Tess Gerritsen has **some things to say on the subject. What a sigh of relief for me. If an author of her stature is saying a 1 book per year schedule, can be grinding, then there's hope for me yet. ( ** you can't directly link to Tess's blog posts--I don't even see archives--so look for the 12/11/2005 post, if you can find it.)

Joe Konrath's recent post had me riled! Riled, I tell ya! ;-) (and good thing, too.)
And check out his 'Size Matters' post on word counts, white space, the cost of publishing, and how it all relates to your odds of being published.

Sneak Peek - The Lost

**copywrite, yaddah, yaddah

Needs tweaking, but I'm starting to have fun with this one. It just might be worth something when it's done. :-)

The kinlins swarmed in a half circle round her and Callum. Their large doe-like eyes, staring out of cherubic faces, fastened onto Yancy with terrifying avarice.

“The Princesss. Give us the Princesss,” they hissed as one in childish voices. The clicketty-click of their sharp, little, teeth spiked chills into her spine. Unbound. Dear god, their mouths were all unbound.

“I think not.” Callum swung his sword in a smooth arc, keeping them at bay. “Who sent you?” he demanded.

“Those who you would thwarted. Have care the enemies you make, Beguiler,” one kinlin warned, pointing a large tell-tale finger at Callum. These assassins were small, but their hands were monstrous. All the better to hold onto their prey.

“Don’t waste our time with your questionsss, or your pathetic attempts to entrance us.” This one grinned, showing those pernicious teeth. “Give her to us, and you won’t be harmed.” Clicketty-click, clicketty-click.

“On your honor?” Callum asked and Yancy tore her gaze away from the trolls to stare at him in shock.

“Yess, yess, yess.” A few kinlin moved forward, clicketty-click punctuating their words.

Yancy swung her torch at them. “No!” Her arm trembled with the effort, and a flash of sweat bathed her. Hot, then cold, then sour.

“You heard the lady,” a smile tilted Callum’s mouth. “No.” His smile faded and his voice turned hard. “There’s also the well-known fact your kind have no honor. The Princess and I will be leaving here together. Alive.”

“Think again, beguiler.”


I'll stop at this point for tonight. I find fight scenes just as demanding to write as love scenes. You gotta do the whole choreography thing--what body part does what to where, action vs reaction, etc.,--but not too much of it, or it'll read like you're giving instructions, and the sense of immediate danger goes poof!. Also you have to watch your verbs/adjectives for repetition, or overdoing it, or sounding like a thesaurus. Pacing is another big bugaboo. Too much description/introspection, and you lose energy. Too little and you lose emotional impact. Remember to use all the senses. Short sentences are preferable, but too much and the whole thing reads choppy.

*sigh* Did I say I was having fun?

Which Superhero Are You?

Your results:

You are The Flash

The Flash 80% Supergirl 77% Wonder Woman 72% Robin 70% Green Lantern 65% Catwoman 65% Superman 60% Spider-Man 60% Hulk 55% Iron Man 50% Batman 40%

Fast, athletic and flirtatious.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...


link scoffed from: Cuppacafe

Joke

RAISE REQUEST......

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
I Sometimes have to do all the work.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely Yours, T.P












Dear Junior,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And, if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.


Sincerely, The Management

Bad Habit, Good Results.

Most bad habits have bad results:

Habit - smoking
Result:

Habit - overindulgence of favourite foods
Result:

Habit - slacking off scholastically
Result:

heh,heh, I kid, I kid. Anywho...

One of my bad writing habits is tweaking. I constantly revise/edit as I write. When things are going well, no problem. But when things are going bad, it feels like I'm just spinning my wheels. Now I *know* a bunch of you are going to say, just push forward, and for gawdssake enough with the tweaking already! But I can't.

Tweaking helps me settle into the character/story and the rhythm/pacing. Every time I've pushed forward, the characters eventually stop talking to me (after all, I'm not listening, am I? I'm pushing forward with the story in my head, which may not be *their* story <--this is just my experience. Flying through the first draft works just dandy for many people).

So there I was tweak, tweak, tweaking my life away on the current wip. I couldn't figure out why, either. The day before I'd actually jumped pages and started right in on new stuff, yet there I was spinning my wheels over and over and over again on this one section. Finally it dawned on me that I kept skimming this one part when I tried to do a straight read through. I took a closer look at it structurally. It was a bit on introspection from the heroine re her calling/profession that slowed the pace a bit; but more importantly I saw how it would be better to use that chunk of introspection later in the story in dialogue, when there would be more at stake and more conflict. In the meantime, I could 'show' the importance of the profession through bits of action, where she would be required to display her skill.

So because of a little tweaking I've: picked up the pace, cut down on the chances of circular/repetitive thinking, upped the opportunities for characterization by now knowing I need to show the heroine in action and I've discovered a thread of conflict that will play out later on in the book.

Some people take showers, some people go for walks, some people brainstorm. I tweak.

Everybody's Favourite Pirate...

Is back July 7, 2006


Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest, trailer

Anne Fraiser

Is a favourite author of mine. While I don't actually think of her as an autobuy, ,since I don't think of any author as an autobuy, (yeah, I sux in that way) I do have all her books.


**click onto image to go to AMAZON page.

And I'm looking forward to her upcoming release PALE IMMORTAL. She's posted a blurb of it on her blog, go take a peek. Sounds awesome, doesn't it? She's also got a promotional vid coming out for the book, which I'm keeping an eye out for.


And for more fun, her latest post is a 15 Book things Meme: (a list of facts, preferences and quirks). I'm going to do it later, when I'm not feeling so lazy.

"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough...

but then for the love of God tell a joke." Joss Whedon

One of the weird things about my writing, I never plan to write funny. My characters are always dark and/or troubled--ie, closet alcoholic, amoral lawyer, vigilante, dyslexic stripper, ex-cons, sharp-shooter/assassins, plus a few feature creatures, you name it. I got it.). And I have no qualms about pushing the envelope in some way.

Yet, every. single. time. A smart ass shows up. My characters like to snark, and make bad puns. They like to verbally spar and throw in the odd zinger. They could be quietly droll, or sardonic, or in possession of deadpan dry wit. I never know. I never plan. It just happens.

For awhile there, I thought it wasn't going to happen with this ms. Pretty much got to the end of chapter two, and nary a smile was cracked. Then I got to this exchange, in the middle of a kidnapping:


Callum resumed his maddening pace with Yancy almost running to keep up.

“I told you the Stroli travelers poised no threat. Did you have to brandish your sword at them?”

“Princess, if you think that’s the way I brandish my sword, I’m supremely insulted.”

“You looked as if you were ready to lop off their heads.”

“I was.”

“Including the grandmother? The poor woman didn’t look a day under ninety.”

“It’s been my experience that females in general become more dangerous as they mature. There are even those womenfolk I’d swear were born bad tempered and dangerous.” He gave her a pointed look as he slid the sword back into its sheath.


It also occurs to me that the humor shows up just in time to lull the reader into a false sense of security. Things are about to get ugly for Callum and Yancy.... I didn't plan that either. Honest.