Nominees for most #$%! Xmas prezzies of 2005 are:

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Item 1: A night light received from coworker. That's right. A night light. I'm a grown ass woman. What in da hell no! do I need a night light for, unless it's attached to a grown ass, very foine, willing and able, man? (then trust me, it won't be the light that's getting plugged... in.) I don't ever recall having a conversation with this woman, whereby I indicated I was afraid of the dark. I got over that particular fear well over 30 yrs ago. And my teenaged son sure as sugar doesn't need a night light either.

And speaking of my offspring. This is part of what's printed on the side of the box, in BIG bold letters: "WARNING: This product contains materials known to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive illnesses."


I mean WTF?

I won't even get in to the whole pissivity of not being particularly close to this person, although we work closely, but now feeling obligated to buy her a (non-toxic) gift.

Item 2. Got in to work this morning to see a bag of marshmallows on my desk, with a little gift tag attached: You ain't been so good, so is the scoop, for Christmas you get nuthin but snowman poop. She (different coworker) thought this was cute. Here's what I think is cute:

Roses are red,
Green is the grass,
Kiss my ass.

Has the whole damn world gone insane?

I *totally* realize that Xmas is not about the gifts you receive, but com'on now. I would have been far happier with a verbal "Merry Christmas" and a quick hug. It really is *the thought* that counts. If you're going to be thoughtless, don't bother.

To quote from this column at (all bolds mine)- "At the simplest level, giving gifts involves the giver thinking of something that the recipient would like... ...and then buying the gift and delivering it.

If you can't do that first step, bolded, save your money.

You Are a Fruitcake!

You taste like nothing else in this world.
And get ready, you're about to get tossed!
Blog Widget by LinkWithin


Anonymous said...

Hmmm... you work with some fruitcakes.

I'm sure if you go to the Buck Store, you'll come up with some equally moronic gifts to give in return without spending a king's ransom.

BTW... I came up with a fruitcake too.

Jaye Wells said...

Holy crap! And I mean that literally in reference to the Snowman Poop. I mean, I like marshmallows as much as the next person, but calling any food poop kind of takes away the craving for it. Also, if you're going to get "creative" in order to save a few bucks you can do a lot better than that. Sorry, but I am riled up for you. Hell-to-the-no on the Snowman Poop.


raine said...

...You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!
Full of hope and promise.
But in the end, a cheap letdown.

Sounds like the guy in my last relationship. :-p~~~~~~~

Ugh on the coworkers, hon!

Michelle said...

Yikes on the gifts! That's pretty terrible. But wishing you a Merry Christmas, nonetheless!

Jaye said...

It's the first chick in particular who ticks me off. I've known her for about 8 years (worked with her at a previous company) but I'm not close to her. In fact I find her annoying and a hypocrite.

Aside from the whole cheap cancer-giving gift thing (wtf!) I REALLY resent having to reciprocate. We've never exchanged gifts before (and we've been on much better terms in the past). Unlike her, I'll still get her something useful and thoughtful. But not too expensive!

The other chick, I actually really liked her and thought the joke was funny initially, but I kinda thought that the 'real' gift (or card) would make an appearance after we were finished laughing.
Nada. (wft?)

On the other hand, I've recived homemade brownies, homemade cookies, flannel pjs , and a wall calendar, plus some really nice cards from several other cowrks. It was just these two who left me speechless.

Thanks for dropping by, guys. I appreciate the comments.

Dude I'm not surprised you're a fruitcake. ;-)

Jaye, lol @ the poop comment killing one's appetite. Exactly. :-P

Raine, I love the lotto ticket description!lol. Wish I'd gotten that. (see there's another, no brainer gift I could have gotten from either one of those ladies. $2 ticket and a card, how hard could that have been?)

Jaye said...

Simulposted, Michelle. lol

Thanks hon, all the best to you and yours, as well.

Let me extend the well wishes to all my visitors. I'll probably put up something official on the blog on Friday.

Kat said...

hehehehehehehe *snort* I loved the snowman one. I am desperately trying to think of someone I could give that one too (with like a giftcard or something as the 'non-joke' part).

As for being a fruitcake, I knew that already ;-)

Oh, and the toxic gift? Could it be that she knows you call her the toxic co-worker and her way of showing you you've been found out? LOL (pick a store and return that thing!)

Jaye said...

Believe it or not, Kat. It wasn't the Toxic F***ing Coworker. She'd cut off her arm before she'd buy me a present/card. (And the sentiment is returned.)

Jordan Summers said...

Your night light has me scared. :-O

As for a gift that was...not well thought out. A sweatshirt that actually fit my dh and a BIG brown purse. Did I mention the sweatshirt had a sports team on it?

Amie Stuart said...

LOL I got lottery ticket too!!!!!!!! Hugs hon! I'm sorry about the twisted co-workers!

BTW one of the questions on that quiz--what to leave out for son comes in my room the other night and says "I'm leaving "santa"( and he did the little finger quote thing) a glass of wine for Christmas"

he's still on my shit list thought 8-O

Jaye said...

Ya know, Jordan, your sweatshirt gift, still looks a whole lot better than my night-wft?-light.

lol@ the wine for Santa. So that's why his cheeks are so red. Watch out, #1 is on a mission to get back in your good books. heh.

Amie Stuart said...

After what I found in his room yesterday, #1 has a LONG LONG way to go *scowl*

Jaye said...

What did you find?

::off to Cece's blog... ::

Related Posts with Thumbnails

2008 Vanessa Jaye | All Rights Reserved | Design by Katrina Glover | Back to top

You are visitor number:

web stats