Subject: The perfect day for man and woman

Saturday, January 24, 2009

For a woman:

8:15-- Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30-- Weigh in 5 lbs lighter than yesterday

8:45-- Breakfast in bed; freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants. Open presents--expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner.

9:15-- Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00--Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer

10:30--Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, blow wave

12:00--Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe

12:45--Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 22 lbs

1:00-- Shopping with friends; unlimited credit

3:00-- Nap

4:00-- Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from "secret admirer"

4:15-- Massage from strong but gentle hunk; says he rarely gets to work
on such a perfect body

5:30-- Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe

7:30-- Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
received from other diners/dancers

10:00--Hot shower. Alone.

10:50--Carried to bed; freshly ironed, crisp, white linen

11:00--Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15--Fall asleep in his big, strong arms

For a Man

Read the rest of the post after the cut.

6:15--Blow job

6:30-- Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section

7:00-- Breakfast; steak and eggs, coffee, toast. All cooked by naked, buxom
wench who bends over a lot

7:30-- Limo arrives

7:45-- Several beers en route to the airport

9:15-- Flight in personal Lear jet

9:30-- Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club; blow job en route

9:45-- Play front nine; 2 under par

11:45-- Lunch; steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon

12:15-- Blow job

12:30-- Play back nine; 4 under par

2:15-- Limo back to airport; several bourbons

2:30-- Fly to Bahamas

3:30-- Late afternoon fishing expedition with nude, all-female crew who
all bend over a lot

4:30-- Land world record Marlin ( 1234 lbs ) on light tackle

5:00-- Fly home; massage and hand job by naked Elle Macpherson

6:45-- Shit, shower, and shave

7:00-- Watch news; Bono assassinated

7:30-- Dinner; lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy steak
followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits

9:30-- Sex with three women, all of whom have lesbian tendencies

11:00-- Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer

11:30-- Night-cap blow job

11:45-- In bed, alone

11:50-- A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to
leave the room

11:51-- Laugh yourself to sleep
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Dee Tenorio said...

ROFL, man, I almost woke up the girls reading this!!

vanessa jaye said...

lol. This is why I like you, Deedle. lol. My baby sis sent me this one. :-P

azteclady said...

Don't care for the dream woman day---but boy oh boy, do I see my ex in the other one!


raine said...

Ahhh-ha-ha-ha-haaaa-ha-haaaa!!!! :D

vanessa jaye said...

AL- I wouldn't mind having one day like the woman's perfect day, but it's not 100% what I'd chose for a perfect day. It's the guy's day that cracks me up. *g*

Jill S. said...

See, lol? Men ARE all the same!

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