Off the cuff at Casa del Jaye

Day: So what's in the Indigo bag?

Me: A book.

Day: Oh yeah--what's the librarian's secret?

Me: Huh?

Day: 'What the Librarian Did'. I saw the book title and read the backblurb. What a corny title.

Me: *laughs* Yeah, it is.

Day: So what's her secret? It's something lame isn't it?

Me: Actually no, it's--

Day: *perks up* Did she kill someone?

Me: *repressively* No!

Day: *loss of interest* oh.

What the Cat saw

Amazed Cat @ Yahoo! Video

Nice Try

I had to give up on a book yesterday. The world-building was interesting, but ultimately I was bored. I'll have to think about exactly why the author failed to engage me, but I think it's the same reason the romance set-up was not working for me.

There were plenty O' refernces to the sexual heat/tension between the H/h, and all the right words/phrasing were used but all I felt was meh. She was trying to sell me Skully and Mulder, but all I got was Doggett and Skully.

Brenda Novak's Auction

It's that time again. Go here.



*

*

10 cliche Alternatives

AAR blog has a fun post up: 10 Clichés We Can Live Without.

Well, clichés become clichés for a reason—they’re relatable, speak to basic/universal truths, work as short cuts for character/story, motivations, and many peep just have an unrepentant love for them. But they get stale, and when they do, iconic becomes a little too comfortable and slips into clichéd.

I didn’t comment on the blog post, but of course my mind went down some twisty paths as I thought of some alternatives to the listed clichés.

1. AAR: The heroine with the herb basket.

VJ: The heroine with the fanny pack. Like her well known counter part the librarian heroine, the fanny pack heroine may seem unfashionable, but just pull the scrunchie, banana-clip, or bump-it out of this chick hair and she’s smoking hott!! Plus the fanny pack draws attention to her tiny waist and shapely hips. This gal ain’t just eye candy for the discerning hero, that fanny pack is stocked with all matter of emergency aid: hand sanitizer, lip balm, keys, id, wet-wipes, extra pair of glasses, and of course, condoms, but out of date condoms because while she’s always prepared, she’s never a slut.

2. ARR: The Absent-minded father.

VJ: The Inappropriate-interest-in-daughter father. For him she’ll always be daddy’s little girl, except he’s noticed that princess has sprouted a fine pair of slamming breasticles and isn’t shy about letting everyone know his opinion, including the hero, who finds this more than just a little awkward.



3. ARR:The Napoleonic War Wound.

VJ: The Billionaire’s Blackberry Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. A sure indication of our hero’s drive to overcome his deprived childhood and become the best. But we know all that money is a poor substitute for the love of a good woman. He may be connected to an international workforce, and his contact list may include presidents of countries, but the only one who has his number is the heroine. Don’t worry though, not even BBCT Syndrome can downplay the hero’s nubbin rubbin skillz that he’s perfected handling his Blackberry, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

4. ARR: Secret Nobleman Spy.

VJ: Works-from-home Neighbourhood Watch Hero. He may seem like another lay about, won-the-lottery bum, but this guy notices that the family two houses over are buying way too much fertilizer, especially after covering most of their lot with inter-locking brick, which by the way might be against the Home Owner Association regulations. This guy is a triple threat! Wannabe terrorist apprehender, Rich n’ere do well playboy, and HOA Grand-Marshal. Hawt!!

5. ARR: Silly Hero Names.

VJ: Different names. Y’all got no love for Filbert? How about Cletus, Junior, Vern, or Bob. We have Bob the builder, why not, Bob the Hero? What about Murdoch, Adwin, or Potitus?

There’s been a trend to name heroes after animals—Griffin, Raven, Wolfe, Ass--or weapons- Blade, Gunn, Spitzbahl. But what about diseases? Ague, Cystitis, Pox, Bloody Flux, Canker. Epitaxis, Lockjaw. All perfectly good, vaguely threatening, Manly Man names.

6. ARR: The Spunky small town girl.

VJ: The small-minded small town girl. Those nosey old biddies populating small towns didn’t just leap full born from deacon Ezekiel’s head. They were all once young biddies. With fanny packs. Think about it.


7. ARR: The Selfish, Vain, Too Nasty To Be Believed “Other” Woman.

VJ: The Boring, Doormat, Too-good-to-be-true, Virginal, *will it fit?* ‘Other’ Woman. Oh wait, she’s usually the heroine. Heh.

8. AAR: The Obligatory Ho Up the Heroine Scene.

VJ: The Optional de-sexing the Heroine Scene. Hair scrapped back in unflattering bun, glasses, no make-up, baggy shapeless unfashionable clothing, sensible shoes, practical cotton underwear.. oh wait, that’s the Innocent Regency Miss/Repressed Contemporary Library Heroine *before* the Obligatory Ho Up scene. Never mind.

9. AAR: Heroine Who Ignores the Hero’s Advice and Thus Gets Into Big Trouble.

VJ: Heroine Who Ignores the Hero’s Advice because He Is An Ass talking out of his ass and she is a smart cookie. But he’s good for other things if you know what I mean, and I think you do.


10. AAR: The Hero or Heroine Still Bearing Scars from High School Whose Life Goal (15 Years After High School) Is Revenge.

Me: The Hero or Heroine Still Bearing Scars from High School Whose Life Goal (15 VJars After High School) Is Revenge.

Because success is the best revenge.


*

Catch up

Time to change my pen name to Vanessa Van Winkle, ya think?

Surprisingly, I've been making more progress than I thought. I updated the writing meter for the revisions/additions and it's up to 7k. It's actually more when you consider that I cut out a sh*tload of over-writing and still ended up with a higher net word count (so far). That's all I'll say on the writing, or I'll start whining, and that won't be pretty.

As for that horrible bug I picked up over a week ago, I seemed to have gotten over the worst of it, thank god. I was sick of being sick and really begining to wonder how it was possible to produce so much snot and still be upright. [/gross out] Plus with a last minute project dumped on the department, I didn't really have the option of taking time off but that meant I was doubly worn out by the time I got home in the evenings.

Anywho....

So I dug into the TBR pile again and pulled up Ender's Game.




Product Description from Amazon:

In order to develop a secure defense against a hostile alien race's next attack, government agencies breed child geniuses and train them as soldiers. A brilliant young boy, Andrew "Ender" Wiggin lives with his kind but distant parents, his sadistic brother Peter, and the person he loves more than anyone else, his sister Valentine. Peter and Valentine were candidates for the soldier-training program but didn't make the cut—young Ender is the Wiggin drafted to the orbiting Battle School for rigorous military training.

Ender's skills make him a leader in school and respected in the Battle Room, where children play at mock battles in zero gravity. Yet growing up in an artificial community of young soldiers Ender suffers greatly from isolation, rivalry from his peers, pressure from the adult teachers, and an unsettling fear of the alien invaders. His psychological battles include loneliness, fear that he is becoming like the cruel brother he remembers, and fanning the flames of devotion to his beloved sister.

Is Ender the general Earth needs? But Ender is not the only result of the genetic experiments. The war with the Buggers has been raging for a hundred years, and the quest for the perfect general has been underway for almost as long. Ender's two older siblings are every bit as unusual as he is, but in very different ways. Between the three of them lie the abilities to remake a world. If, that is, the world survives.

What a fantastic book!! I'm almost done but don't foresee it book falling apart at this point. I really love the character og Ender, and I love the deft yet bare-bones/subtle world building. Not sure if I'll continue with the series because there is an overall sense of, I dunno-- bleakness? futility?--to the story. Yeah, I'm a wuss for the hopeful/in-a-better-place ending, if not the happy one. :-P (

btw, over on Amazon I noticed that the author had a 'response' to some of the negative reviews posted. While his response was level-headed/calm, it also felt slightly 'lecturing' and wholly unnecessary, imo, given that out of 2,669 reviews(!!!), 2,118 of them were 5 star, 323 were 4 star. I really don't think authors can win this one. Unless you're correcting a point of fact, you gotta let people have their opinions, right, wrong, hateful, ignorant or indifferent, just walk away from the keyboard. *my opinion* on his response is in the minority, since 434 out of 456 found his comment helpful. *g* Still giving thumbs waay for this one. I feel like digging up my old copy of Lord of the Flies now.

btw part 2: I know some peeps don't care for rec's that are little more than 'I loved this book!!' and the synopsis, without an analytical breakdown of why the reader (me in this case) loved the book. Well... I'm lazy. lol. Plus I tend to be more analytical about why a book didn't work, while, if it did work, I respond on a more emotional level. Taking into account that I read a lot--with many book either 'mehs' or DFNs, if I make the effort to post about a book, take that as a bona fide handstand, shout-it-from-the-rooftops recommendation.

Recently Read

I was really sick over the weekend. Slept 12hrs straight Friday night, was up for about 4hrs Saturday morning, then wrapped up with a blanket on the sofa and fell asleep for another 4 hrs. I'm over the worst of it now, but still a bit phlegmy.

Anywho...




I plucked Alisa Sheckley's The Better To Hold You from out of the pile of books on the bedroom floor to read during my convalescence ::snort::. What a really great book! Kelly Armstrong's Bitten is one of my all time fav books and TBTHY is very much in that vein of book. More of a straight fiction slant (to me) than paranormal romance, loved the world-building and the development of the love interest. Sure I have quibbles with it (some of the world building doesn't bare too close inspection and there were times I found myself inpatient with the heroine), but the book is a keeper.

Dental Humor

The dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.

"No way! No needles. I hate needles" the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.

"I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!"

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.

"No objection," the patient says. "I'm fine with pills."

The dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra."

The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"

"It doesn't" said the dentist, "but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."


* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

I was looking for an image to go with this post and came across this ludicrous story. Which made me think, there haven't been any romance novels with this issue, a couple with a mismatched sex drive. Unless it was erotic with a menage slant or summin.

Recent Buys

Went on a little spending spree at the bookstore yesterday:

What Jane Austen Ate and Charles Dickens Knew by Daniel Pool. (This looks like a handy little starter reference book. I just wish the text weren't so crammed on the page. Have pity on my poor aging eyes, publishers!)

This guide to daily life in 19th-centuryEngland is a welcome companion for readers of Austin, the Brontes, Dickens, and Trollope. The first section is a collection of engrossing short chapters on various aspects of British life, including clothing, etiquette, marriage, money, occupations, society, and transportation. For example, customs now lost but very much practiced at the time were primogeniture, which ensured that the great family houses would not be split up, and the avoidance of eating cheese by the middle class, who considered it a food for the poor. The second part of the book is a glossary of commonly used words or phrases that may be unfamiliar to the modern reader; for instance, tar was a colloquial name for a sailor. Although there are many books on the social history of 19th-century Britain (including several companions to Victorian fiction), this volume is useful because of its concise chapters and lengthy glossary. Recommended for general literature collections.

~ * ~

Irresistible by Susan Mallery (btw, there are a ton of romance novels with this title. Defo one to avoid as a writer unless you're wedded to it. I like Mallery's books, but I'm always a tiny bit disappointed because end up wanted more romance than she includes. I think she's more woman's fiction with romance subplot, but this one *sounds* more romancey than the other books I've read of hers. We'll see.)


As a single mom, Elissa Towers has had to make it on her own, but now her car is falling apart, and the tires are worn thin. When Elissa's reclusive neighbor, Walker Buchanan, buys her new tires, she pays him back with baked goods, and soon Walker is eating dinner with Elissa and her daughter. He is attracted to spunky Elissa, but he is on a mission to find the girlfriend of a buddy in the service who took a bullet for him. As part of the Buchanan restaurant empire, introduced in Delicious (2006), Walker has no need for money, but he worries about Elissa's finances while she frets about making up with her parents. Mallery has written an emotionally charged story of two people who are perfect for each other but need to get past their personal demons before they can forge a relationship. This is one book that lives up to its title.

~ * ~

A Dark Love by Margaret Carroll.)(Love me a *good* romantic-suspense/thriller. Hope this one is.)

Caroline Hughes abandons her abusive, controlling psychiatrist husband, hoping to begin a new life with a new name, but Dr. Porter Moross, a Freudian analyst who's more psycho than therapist, willingly destroys his life and career in a mad effort to track his elusive wife across the country. Finding shelter in a tiny mountain town, Caroline meets divorced football player Ken Kincaid, but their romance sometimes seems wedged into a story mostly focused on Porter's madness and Caroline's fear. Porter is both terrifying and sympathetic, while Caroline seems almost waifish until an unexpected and satisfying ending makes it clear that she's not just waiting for Ken to save her. Suspense fans who like a touch of romance will find this a winner.

~ * ~

Smooth Talking Stranger by Lisa Kleypas (I've been dying for this one to come out in mass-market pb. Now I have the whole series. I really, really like LK's contemporary romances.)

Ella Varner grew up with a troublesome mother and an insecure sister, but she has managed to come out of it reasonably sane, with a good (if vegan) boyfriend, Dane, and a job as an advice columnist. All of this gets turned upside down when her sister disappears and sticks Ella with her newborn, Luke. Determined to find Luke's father, Ella tracks down a likely suspect—millionaire playboy Jack Travis. The encounter results in Travis and Ella unexpectedly engaged in an irrepressible attraction. Meanwhile, Ella grows fond of baby Luke and fears what will happen when Tara returns. As Ella grapples with conflicting desires, she learns some important lessons about love and trust.


~ * ~

Dark Angel~Lord Carew's Bride by Mary Balogh

DARK ANGEL
Jennifer Winwood has been engaged for five years to a man she hardly knows but believes to be honorable and good: Lord Lionel Kersey. Suddenly, she becomes the quarry of London’s most notorious womanizer, Gabriel Fisher, the Earl of Thornhill. Jennifer has no idea that she is just a pawn in the long-simmering feud between these two headstrong, irresistible men—or that she will become a prize more valuable than revenge.

LORD CAREW’S BRIDE
Jennifer’s cousin Samantha Newman is smarting after she too is toyed with by Lord Kersey. In the midst of her heartbreak, she seeks solace from her new friend, the disabled gardener Hartley Wade. If only she knew that Hartley is secretly Lord Carew, and that he hides more than extraordinary wealth: a passionate secret held deep in his heart that only her love can reveal.

~ * ~

An Impossible Attraction by Brenda Joyce. (It's been ages since I've read a Joyce book. I got this one because of the chapter 3 excerpt I read somewhere and because it has one of my favourite tropes- coldly arrogant, incapable of love, hero matched to impoverished heroine with whom he falls first madly in lust with and manipulates into being with him after which he falls hopelessly in love. Sometimes you just need to eat the whole box of chocolate, yanno? *gg*)

With her mother's passing, Alexandra Bolton gave up on love to take care of her family. Now, with the Bolton name in disgrace due to her father's profligate ways, marrying an elderly squire might be the only way to save her family from absolute ruin. But when she meets the infamous Duke of Clarewood, old dreams—and old passions—are awakened as never before. Yet she cannot accept his shocking proposition!
He is the wealthiest, most powerful peer in the realm, and having witnessed the cold horror of marriage as a child, he has vowed never to wed. But Alexandra Bolton inflames him as no woman has ever done, and she also serves him his first rejection! Now Clarewood—who always gets what he wants—will choose which rules to play by. But when passion finally brings them together, a terrible secret threatens to tear them apart….

~ * ~

Into the Wilderness by Sara Donati. (Really looking forward to reading this one. Ms Donati is an awesome writer. God, I can't find a succinct synopsis, you'll have to read it on Amazon.)



~ * ~

Candy Licker by Noire (Funny story about this one. The title and cover art put a smile on my face and I couldn't help plucking it from the shelf to find out more. Wey-hell... ::fans self:: Bought it. So, while I'm at the till checking out, an older lady sees the cover--she's a wee lttle thing--asks if the book was part of a course I was taking (Ryerson University is 2 blocks away). O_o lol. The cashier and I exchanged amused looks before I shook my head and said 'No' with a smile. In fact I've been so amused by that little exchange, I forgot to be flattered that she mistook me for a student. O_o But really, was like having your grandma find your astro-glide and think it was a new brand of hand-sanitizer. lol.

When Candy Raye Montana hooks up with Harlem rap don Junius "Hurricane" Jackson, she's expecting little more than a respite from serving as bait for stickups for her well-meaning but desperate mother and her mother's junkie boyfriend—and maybe a little luxury. But 'Cane turns out to be a major sociopath (with violent perversions that may be compensations for a small dick). Candy, unhappy and horny, turns to Internet cam mutual masturbation, but when Percy "Knowledge" Graham, Cane's lawyer, comes into her life, the love is real—and deeply satisfying. But Cane knows something's up, and Candy's life is more and more in the balance as Knowledge schemes to find a way for them to make a life together. Candy's first person and Knowledge's third begin to alternate chapters: both are completely absorbing and rarely miss. The cast of bling and trash extras are well-done and well-named.

~ * ~

Runemarks by Joanne Harris. (This hardback was on the remainder table. Sounds interesting)



Seven o''clock on a Monday morning, five hundred years after the end of the world, and goblins have been at the cellar again. Not that anyone would admit it was goblins. In Maddy Smith's world, order rules. Chaos, old gods, faeries, magic-all of these were supposedly vanquished centuries ago. But Maddy knows that a small bit of magic has survived. The "ruinmark" she was born with on her palm proves it-and makes the other villagers fearful and suspicious that she is a witch.

But the mysterious traveler One-Eye sees Maddy's mark not as a defect, but a destiny. And Maddy will need every scrap that One-Eye can teach her about runes, cantrips, and glamours-every ounce of magic she can command-if she is to survive that destiny

Good For A Laugh

I popped over to Hark, a vagrant and had a good giggle. (you can either click on to the pic, or follow the link for a larger imaage).



Also got a good chuckle when I read the most recent review over at Rip My Brodice.

And lastly, from Cracked.com. the timeless female vs male shoe shopping flow-cart. (click onto pics for larger versions or follow the link.)

Southern Fried Chicas Today

I'm over at Southern Fried Chicas today, talking about how too much of a good thing, can sometimes be just too much.

Imagine that.

Wrong Turn, Right Here

One of the worst things ever, as a writer, is to be bored by your own writing. Sometimes it's you--you're distracted, tired, not in the mood for the story or to write.

Other times, it's the crap you're writing.

I swear this mini outline/synopsis I sketched out is making me crazy. Half the scenes I planned out are wrong, wrong, wrong. Even though I have specific reasons for wanting to write them, by the time I get them done, they just lie there on page, stinking up a story I already have my doubts about.

The current scene (that's been in the works for days) has got to go. There's only one reason I'm writing it, and that's not emough to sustain it, the rest is just boring introspection. ugh. Plus the secondary character in it never shows up again. I have to come up with something else that has the same end result, but with characters more relevant to the story. I'm so damn close to the freakin end, yet the damn thing gets harder to write.