WIP Sneak Peek

Monday, February 16, 2009

It's hard to get a handle on something you wrote years ago and left unfinished, then take up again when you've changed as a writer.

Is this really one of those baby you should leave to obscurity under the bed? Chalk it up to a writing excercise and move on, or is there something there to work with? And do you work with what's there or make the harder decision of taking the concept/characters and starting fresh?

Not that working with what's already there is necessarily the easier choice. Revisions/edits are a bitch, not the least of which is bringing the writing style/voice in line without losing the emotion/energy.

Still, I went with what was behind door #2. :-P

Lots of problems with that choice. Some of them unfixable (word?). I think. But I'm at the point where I'm feeling that I made the right choice and I'm begining to like this story again.

I'm going to have my wonderful site designer/mistress put this except up in the wip section of the website soonish. (as soon as I come up with a half assed blurb/description). I'll throw my usual Missy Elliot quote up at this point: Copywritten, so don't copy me. (Conversely, do a search on Smart Bitches/Trashy Novels re the black-footed ferret.)

One last warning--if you don't dig the italicized-telepathy-speak/werewolf/fated-to-be-mated combo, read no further.

The full (unedited) excerpt after the cut.

Some of the tension he’d been carrying around for the last few hours eased. Thank god for Mitch. Mitch kept him sane. Cal was still shaking his head, the smile on his lips settled there awkwardly from disuse, when his attention landed on the blonde again.

His mouth resumed its more familiar hard flat line and he felt his hackles rise. Some no-neck nimrod was presently breathing into her face and sitting way too close. He told himself it was none of his business, the guy was probably her boyfriend, but if it were possible, her body language was even more rigid and defensive. He watched and waited. And stewed.

She shook her head side to side periodically at whatever Triple-N was whispering in her ear. Cal didn’t question his rising anger, just signaled to the server and ordered a bottled water. When it came, he took it and his drink and stood up.

“I’ll be right back,” he forestalled Mitch, then wove his way through the maze of chairs across to the other side of the pool.

‘Hello.’ He sent the greeting out moments before he arrived at her side. It had the right effect. She looked up expectantly and thinking she’d heard the word out loud, returned the greeting over Nimrod’s shoulder.

“Hi” Her husky voice was a soft caress to his senses.

“Sorry I took so long.” Cal handed her the water, it was the same brand as the almost empty bottle on the table besides her. ‘I’m here to help.’

She took the drink from him after a slight hesitation.

“So who’s your friend?” he asked conversationally. He remained standing, claiming the alpha position and stared down at the steroid-bound loser.

“Uhm,…this is Rod.” She continued to look at Cal in confusion.

Rod sized Cal up. And came up three sizes too small. “Who the hell are you?”

He allowed the bones in his face to shift slightly and flashed a quick smile, knowing his incisors looked unnaturally prominent. ‘I’m the thing you don’t believe in asshole.’

Dude’s eyes widened and his aggression suddenly suffered a bout of erectile dysfunction.

Even though Cal wasn’t looking at her, he could feel the waves of anxiety coming off the woman. He erased the small signs of transformation from his features, but held the man’s gaze. That’s what you did with prey.

Rod stood up swiftly, “Listen man, I was just having a friendly conversation with Tessa. No harm done.”

Cal made no reply, except to exhale in a low short growl.

Rod held up his hands. “It’s cool. I’ll leave you two alone.”

“Do that.” Cal bared his teeth once more.

He didn’t relax until Rod was gone from sight and he could barely smell the drops of urine that had trickled down between human’s legs. But his smile faded with the awareness of Tessa’s growing agitation. He turned to her, ‘I mean you no harm’, and watched as she searched his face. He saw the exact moment she decided to trust him; her hazel eyes lighten a shade.

“T-thank you….?”

“Cal,” he supplied, deliberately keeping his voice gentled.

‘Thank you, Cal.” She held out her hand as her mouth curved into a smile.

He felt a surprising twist in his chest at the sight of that smile, and paused before taking her slender hand in his.

Something was wrong. His heart still pumped hard from the confrontation with Rod, but that didn’t explain the premonition that snaked through him. He drew in a deep breath as he scanned around them, his gaze jumping from face to face. Nothing suspicious.

Cal looked down at Tessa again and finally took her hand in his with a deep sense of foreboding.

Knowledge slammed into his gut. One word.

She took a swift intake of breath and her greeny gaze widened.

Had he spoken out aloud?

One word.

Cal dropped Tessa’s hand. This had to be a cruel joke.

“You’ll be fine now,” he said with a calm he was far from feeling. He could hear the rush of blood through her veins.

Nature spoke irrefutable truth, in one word.

He spun on his heels and stalked away, putting distance between him and Tessa.

Beth. He searched for the old memories of his dead wife, needing to embrace the fading ache and familiar anger. He reached past that one word:

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raine said...

Sigh. :(

Geez, VJ, I hate to say this. :(
But being writing buddies & all that, I feel like I need to be blunt. :(

It's a shame, but to be honest
I'll have to fly all the way up to Canada to kick you butt if you dont finish this! :)
Yeah, it works. :)

vanessa jaye said...

Well, I'm disenchanted again. lol. I swear it's a love/hate relationship with this one. But I swore I'd finish it and a connecting novella with his bestfriend the were-panther ths year, and by gum that's what I'm going to do!

So no need to get the passport out. ;)

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