Joke: Amazing Home Remedies

Sunday, April 13, 2008

I noticed last night that one leg on two different dinningroom chairs were scratching the wood floors and since I couldn't find the package of those little felt disc that you put on the bottom of chair/table legs to counteract this problem, I reached for the handy dandy duct tape and a pair of scissors.

Ds called me 'ghetto'. lol. Whatever. I trimmed off the excess tape, so you can't tell it's there. And now my chairs slide across the floor like Lindsay Lohan at at bar opening.

Here's the joke:

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clocked will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxitives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but they bring a smile to our face when pushed down the stairs.
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Canadian Dude said...

Duct tape is such wonderful stuff.

vanessa jaye said...

No home owner should be without a roll around the house. ;)

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