Ahhssole, little grasshoppa make big funny

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Current read: The New Concubine a Blue Moon imprint erotica by Akahige Namban (<--I keep thinking this name is some sort of anagram, or something, like, AKA Hi Gena Emban? AKA Hygien be man? Nope, that last one is totally wrong. Okay, enough of that.)

I'm reading the book for the articles-- ::blink blink::, er the setting. Really.

It takes place in 17th century Japan, and there's some sort of murder mystery going on involving numerous concubines, a Giant samurai, a deadly female ninja, a mountain man, and many a farmer's wife (nudge nudge wink wink) to name just a few of the horny cast of thousands.

So far, no murder. Well, actually, a number of murders, but not *the* important muder, since all those disptached so far are clearly 'red shirts'. But no murder, ergo, no mystery, either.

But what the Hey! That just leaves more time for my fuedal supa freaks to get bizzay!

This book is freaking hilarious. It starts off with, "The wizened man came out of the misty drizzle, cringing towards the light."

That's right. Cringing *towards* the light.

Later on, when a samurai decides to, ahem, *unleash the dragon* it's described as: "...his long dark pole shuttled greasily into her..."


...taking a moment of silence....

Snaps out of it.

For those of you who lurve anachronisms, at some point during this 17th century romp-a-palooza, the female posterior is referred to as 'buns'.

And for those of you in the purple prose posse, Yes! Yes, the immortal phrase - "he exposed his long flesh sword," was used!

**update, just read this phrase two seconds ago: "...his shaft of gristle...."


I'm going back to reading more of COOCHIE TIGER, HORNY DRAGON. Hope y'all had a good week-end.
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Amie Stuart said...

OMG My kids wanna know why I'm laughing! I hate hate HATE an excess description of body fluids...shuddering...spreading ew TMI Sensai

Jaye said...

Cece, this book takes the cake. I've been alternating between cringing (away, *g*) and laughing my butt off as I read. Someone could make up a kick ass drinking game for this book. :-P Page 77 and I 'm still waiting for the mystery/murder.....

Anonymous said...

I love it!

You're cringing away? You couldn't pry me away from that book with a long, dark, greasy pole!

Anonymous said...

(previous comment by Dreamweaver, LMAO!!)

Jordan Summers said...

OH MY GOD!!! I'm so glad I didn't have a mouthful of water when I started reading this post. I could not stop laughing, although the picture made me cringe...or perhaps it was the light. ;-) *ggg*

Jaye said...

Vanessa, ugh, on the greasy pole. lol.

Jordan, I can honestly say, I've never had so much fun reading erotica. :-P

Anonymous said...

"...his shaft of gristle..."????

I'll never think of barbecue the same way again. :-(


Sasha said...

ANd I thought I had a good imagination!


Carol B. said...

I can't quit laughing! Oh my gosh, I'm to the crying tears stage. And that photo! Truly disgusting.

The cover should be purple.

Lyvvie said...

Hey...I use the same sponges. I buy them in bulk from CostCo.

I am disturbed by the seat up, greasy hand and toothbrush picture. It looks like you've been up to something vengeful.

Anna Lucia said...


Jaye said...

I spent a full day giggle, every time the phrase: shaft of gristle, came to mind. gg.

Livvie, that hand is not mine. Just think of what my manicurist would say?! ;-) And as long as I'm fessing, those lips and those legs aren't mine either. lol

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