Update on The Lost

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The old, erotic, version of The Lost received Honorable Mention in the Romance Divas Best Opening Scene Contest (up to first 15 pages). Just the lovely boost I needed!

I didn't enter with any goal of winning, especially since I'm not going with this version of the story. But I do intend to recycle as much material from it as I can, and incorporate it into the new version. The feedback from the contest was really beneficial on these points:

1. Just about everyone pointed out archaic use of language (modern sounding speech in a story that felt mostly historical). It was only a few places, but it threw them.

2. Related to point one, and surprising, considering the whole erotic angle, a lot of people didn't care for the more explicit language used. Again, they found it jarring. That's not really a concern with the new version, but something to keep in mind.

3. OMG! I am the run-on sentence queen! LOL. Hi, my name is Vanessa and I am a semi-colon addict. :-P I was trying to keep a certain rhythm and flow to the words/sentences. But folks will surely run out of air, before I run out of flow. *gg* Not good.

4. 'K, this is the thing that opened a big fat can of worms for me. And the feedback I'm probably most thankful for. It was actually more 'comments in passing', than feedback. A couple of people noted offhand that while they got the historic vibe, they weren't sure what year it was or where (country/land) the story took place.

::blinkblink:: assume deer in headlights expression.

Wah? I'm supposed to do that? I thought I could just, yanno, make sh*t up. lol. Now before any fantasy readers/writers flay me, I did do A LOT of world building, and it all makes sense/has its own logic for this world. I just thought I could keep my land/country and specific year, er vague.

So I'm working that angle now. Ironically one of the things I hadn't worked out with the word-building, was religion (I did the political backdrop), but I knew it would be important. I just figured it would come to me when it had to.

So now it's come. It's still an alternate history/time line. The years are not AD (Anno Domini), but JA (Jhoraed's Ascension, with Jhoraed being the most powerful wizard to have lived. (Still working on his 'legend/mythology')) The historical period could loosely relate to our late medieval/early renaissance, but I’d have to do the research on that. And at some point, I guess, I'll have to do up one of those maps, (so that's what they're there for. heh.).

The funny thing is, I believe this is an action-adventure romance, whose setting is fantasy/fantastical. Rather than a fantasy with romance subplot. The emphasis is on the romance/plot, not the fantasy stuff, yet, the fantasy elements are intrinsic to the story.

Uhm, so why did I want to be a writer again?
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Amie Stuart said...

>>Hi, my name is Vanessa and I am a semi-colon addict.

I know *ggg* For you it's semi-colons; for Raine it's elipses........*snort* I'm sure I have my ...ahem...quirk, too. Please feel free to flay me with it.

That's fab about the contest!! I'm sorry but I'm laughing about #4 cuz I remember reading that, getting the historical feel and NEVER questioning the when or where either!!

riemannia said...

Hey, congrats! That's a nice way to start the new year.

Trace said...

Congrats, Vanessa!! You Go girl!!

Jaye said...

Know what? I can't think of what your quirk is offhand, either Cece. But as surely as you have those two little horns poking out of your forehead, you have a writing quirk. Now I'm gonna be on the look out for it. lol.

Thanks, Jorie and Trace (hey, longtime no see, girl!). It was a nice little pick me up.

raine said...

Congratulations, Jaye!!! That's GREAT, girl!! :-D

Except...they wanted to know year and place??? Yikes. :-O

Problems with elipses? Who..........me?...................
hmmm...................... (lmao!)

I know *ggg* For you it's semi-colons; for Raine it's elipses........*snort* I'm sure I have my ...ahem...quirk, too.

Well..........doesn't happen often, & it's not a BIG quirk............but an occasional lapse in the placement of cough, coughcommas, cough, cough................

Congrats again, hon. ;-D

Jaye said...

And congratulations to you Raine for your nomination over on the Preditors & Editors reader poll!

Amie Stuart said...

GOOOOOOOOOO RAINEEEEEEEEEE. Yes, Raine is my comma police. But I know there's got to be something........worse ;-)

Julie said...

1) HOORAY YOU! Congratulations.

2) It's great to watch your brain working on this--very inspiring.

3) Remember that all-important phrase: comma not semicolon! ;-P

Jaye said...

LOL Julie. You know, you were the first person I thought of when I read the 'run-on' sentence comments. Wait, wait! Let me find a quote (cause I have no shame. heh)

"I found the run on sentences to be distracting. After a while it started to annoy me." (she still gave me a 4/5 beside this comment)

hmm. I was looking for another quotes from the different (8) judges , I know at least one other judge commented, but can't find the quote though. Seems the run-on's only bothered these two (enough to comment).

The thing is, *I know* I have a problem, so I took their comments to heart. Not that I'm giving up my semi-colon's, it's part of the way I write, but I'll make sure I look out for them in final edits.

Anywho, back to my original point. lol. I remember that you refused to crit something for me once, Julie. You actually sent it back, with all the semis highlighted. lol. And asked me to fix them before you critted the chapter. ::blush:: . Dee and Cece have zinged me on semi-colon abuse too. :-P I'm being outted, I tell ya!

Sasha said...

It's fiction. Aren;t we suppossed to be able to just make shit up? *confused*

'as for quirks. Other than crappy grammar, I do knwo that YOU brought it to my attention that the same twitch, - er..phrase is in all of my stories at some point. LOL

Amie Stuart said...

Use is okay (cuz I know that's part of your writing), it's the abuse that'll get you 20 to life ;-)

Julie said...

Man, I was one MEAN crit partner. LOL

Amie Stuart said...

Sasha...if you make shit up, you better remember where you put it *blush*

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