I resolve to be Happy, dammit!

Monday, January 02, 2006

For the last couple of years I've been struggling for balance in my life. This wasn't about juggling too many balls, it was just that things (I normally handled with no problem) would slide and I didn't have the wherewithal to get back on track with them.

It got to the point where I could only deal with one or two things, meanwhile the stuff being neglected was making me crazy. The major reason this happened was stress. I let some sorry assed people get to me, and pretty soon I was focused on all the negativity, and being eaten up with anger and hate, and it was sapping my energy and happiness.

Things got really bad about six months ago, so this isn't really a New Year's resolution thing, because it's taken 6 months to get to this point. But G'tdam'it, I'm gonna be happy this year!

I'm going to focus on the things that make me happy and bring me peace. I'm going to cherish and nourish my relationships, instead of avoiding friends/family because of my bad mood.

I'm going to get into interesting discussions/debates, and laugh my ass off about plenty of things, instead of bitching about the assholes I have to deal with. I'll leave the assholes to wallow in their own shit. I'm gonzo.

I'm going to exercise regularly, because G'tdam'it, I like exercising. I like being strong and flexible. I am woman hear me roar after my daily cardio.

And I'm going to do a better job on the housekeeping. I used to Martha Stewart it--fresh flowers and all--every Saturday for a couple of hours. Then I got too busy trying to de-stress. For the whole weekend. And housework got done on a 'as needed' basis. But you know what's stressful? Wondering when those G'tdam dust bunnies were going to mutate and eat my ass fresh alive. lol.

Oh, yes, and I'm going to write. Cause when I'm happy, and at peace within myself, my brain won't be cluttered up with stressors, negativity and worries. I'll be free to be creative, and to write.

The title of today's blog inspired by this book:

I bought this a couple of years ago when I worked for a anal retentive control freak. I walked into Chapters bookstore and there it was, this bright Orange and lime cover, and the title spoke to me. It was like the freakin burning bush on a front display table, and it's message was specifically for me.

It's a great little book filled with 44 Life Lessons and fun graphics to raise your spirits. Some might say simple (obvious) platitudes, but, hey, they work for me. ie: Lesson #11 (I have this one bookmarked): If you keep doing what you've always been doing, then you'll keep getting what you've always been getting. You must courageously break the habit of your habits, or every year you will be doomed to live out: "Same #$%&!. Different Outfit." The style of your clothes may change, but the style of your circumstances won't.

So I've just got off the phone with one of my best friends, I spoke to her twice this week, and I'm going up to her house on Wednesday. I did a bunch of housework this morning, did a crit, and now I"m off to the gym. When I come back, I'll get cracking on the laundry. Then do some writing, g'tdam'it!
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raine said...

You're abso-freakinglutely right on every point. Yaayyy, and good for you!!
And I'm with you every step of the way, Jaye--right there, testing your resolve... ;-D

Carol B. said...

Sounds like a plan. Keep us posted on your progress every month, 'k?

Sasha said...

OK I'm gonna follow you! :D.

BTW, my cat was sittin g on my lap when I was reading your post, and she kept attacking the penguins. LOL

Kat said...

You go girl!

Danica said...

Sounds like a good plan to me! Pass a little of that happiness my way, will you?

Jaye said...

LOL, Raine! Evil woman.

Carol I feel pretty confident I'll succeed with everything.... except the writing. I'm still pushing myself on this wip. But I'm gonna finish this g'tdam't wip this year if it kills me.

*gg* I love the penguines.

Thanks Kat!

Danica, I will gladly send you loads of happiness. In fact I'll start by wishing some your way now. ;-)

Sela Carsen said...

Yay You!!! I'm proud of you for letting it all go and doing what you need to do to be a whole person! (btw, congrats on finaling in the BOS contest!)

Julie said...

Now, that's a resolution I can get behind.

You be happy, woman. You definitely deserve it.

Jaye said...

::tacklehug:: thank you, Julie and Sela!

Amie Stuart said...

I"m with you too...except the nourishing family relationships...I'm totally not doing that. I tried...they lost their chance.

Jaye said...

((Cece)). We'll, even if you can't nourish the family relations, you can always just 'let go' of the negative stuff inside yourself. Just say, this is the way it is and I"m going to stop letting it bother me. That's pretty much what I've had to do. It actually works (over time), not all the time, but even so that *you* feel better.

It just got to the point where, not only did I not like some people, I disliked the person I was becoming because of all the negativity I had bottled up inside.

Amie Stuart said...

I'm totally happy with letting go of even trying. Sadly there are some polyannas in my family who still think everything's going to be okay--denial isn't just a river for them--but that's their problem not mine.

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