Finished the fight scene. It didn't go the way I thought it would. I expected to write a sort of play by play action/reaction choreography: He moved left and swung his fist out, slamming into the guy's gut, yaddah yaddah yaddah., but it didn't quite come out that way, instead it was rendered in broad strokes, rather concise details, with a couple of gory moments highlighted for effect:
A head rolled to her feet, death grimace leering up at her. Yancy jumped back with a yelp and felt a heavy tug on her robe. She looked down at the kinlin tearing at her clothing, teeth bared to bite.
She screamed, and her hand came down hard to box him off. He sprang from her. Dropped, curled up in a tiny ball. A baby's wails coming from his little flopping form. And Callum’s knife plunged to the hilt through one eye.
It still needs, er, tweaking... ::coughcough:: but I'm really happy with it. And it changed the dynamics of the character's relationship. How could it not, when they've fought side by side? So that was cool too.
I hope to have a good writing day, today. I'll check in later.
4 comments:
Jaye, you're a tease.
Finish soon! I'm anxious to read this. :-)
And I'm anxious to finish! It's starting to be fun (writing) again. :-D
And of course you're on my victim... er, guinea pig, ::coughcough::, uhm, reader/crit list. ;-)
How'd I miss this???
Looks great. Enough detail without sounding like narration. Shows the action/reaction perfectly (I think).
Great job!
Post a Comment