So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, " You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop.... but at the bar... you know... they have frozen glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious ... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise...OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.
But my sweet honey ... at the bar ... you know, there's swearing, dirty words and all that ."
"LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR F*CKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A F*CKING BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER ... GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"
... and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?
6 comments:
I'm sensing some aggression, Jaye, lol.
;)
Dee
(who might get aggressive too, gotta do laundy.)
Good one Jaye... I'm still smirking here.
Love the edition of Emily Rose. Seems quite fitting for the story.
LOL Love it!
Oh, geez. Too funny!!!! Thanks for the laugh.
poor thing didn't know what hit him...
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