Happily Ever After, and After, and After.....

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Max Max has a enlightning (disheartening) post up about agents, courtesy of Lauren Barat-Logsted.

shit.
Well, there goes another perfectly good pair....

Speaking of which, anyone got agent horror stories they want to share? Cece, don't trip over yourself. Gotta watch that blood pressure, chica. ;-)
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9 comments:

Amie Stuart said...

Smartass LOL

A funny thing happened on the way to my last agent hunt. I heard an editor say I didn't need an agent to sell to her. It will be a long LONG time before I ever sign with another agent. I mean look at it this way. I was married 3 years, single 9. I had an agent for 6 months.....I'll let you do the math ;-)

When to know when to NOT hire an agent?

She's so wet behind the ears, the ink on her college diploma is still drip drying.

And in the vein of the immortal Jeff Foxworthy, you know you might have to fire your agent if.....

She doesn't respond to your emails. One sent every two weeks for two months.

you know you might have to fire your agent if.....

She says one thing and turns around and says the complete OPOSITE thing a week later.

you know you might have to fire your agent if.....

she ignores repeated requests (like five in two months) for information on your first BIG rejection.

you know you might have to fire your agent if.....

She tells you not to revise, then then agrees when YOU suggest revisions a week later (I think i'm repeating myself).

you know you might have to fire your agent if.....

She doesn't even bother to congratulate you on your first sale of ANYTHING.

But do you still think you made a good decission when she calls you up two months later and leaves a message wanting to discuss writing a YA proposal?

HELL YEAH!!!!

For everything else, there's my debit card.

Anonymous said...

Cece, glad to see you're not upset about all that anymore. ;-)

I don't exactly have a horror story...more like a 'huh?' story...

Submitted a query to a certain agent. To my astonishment, she responded! Sent my letter back, & scribbled over the top was "please send me the first ten pages. Thank you."

Sent the TEN PAGES out IMMEDIATELY. Waited with baited breath. Finally, the letter of response came. Again, written over the top of the TEN PAGES was the response:

"I'm afraid I'll have to pass. Love your style, your ideas--but you take too long to get to the sex."

They were supposed to have sex in the first TEN PAGES??!! :-O

Amie Stuart said...

Let me just add, I'll be here all week in the VJ Lounge dolling out witticisms to drink by

vanessa jaye said...

Yeah, Cece, glad to see you can hardly even remember that episode in your life, you've put it so far behind you. ::snort::

Raine, that's scary. Since when is there an arbitrary page number for the H/h to get busy. I thought it was the story/writing/voice that counted. I think you got a luck break there, not having her sign you.

I don't have much to share, except for one agent who read a partial of mine that had placed in a contest (she was the final judge). She went on and on about the silliest f*ckin'est nitpicking shit. It was the one time in my life I wish I *had* gotten a form letter, or she'd just said point blank: I don't like your story. End of f*cked up discussion.

Anonymous said...

Cece, I'll have a Tom Collins with my poodle, please. :)

Oh, wait! There was another one, I kept it here somewhere...
Agent requested partial ms. Hopes up again, right?

He returned it to me along with a lengthy endictment of the current state of grammar in the English language, in an e.e. cummings sorta way...
He'd also edited my poor little partial by striking out EVERY COMMA IN THE BLOODY MANUSCRIPT.

And he invited me to submit the rest.

Can you say run, not walk, quickly to the exit??!! :-O

Larissa Ione said...

I have no horror stories to share--I'm too chicken to submit to an agent.

But I'm enjoying y'alls horror stories. Yikes!

Amie Stuart said...

For Larissa......

You might not want to requery an agent with new work if....

Her first rejection comes scribbled on your query letter and your query letter now has coffee stains on it.

Stephanie Tyler said...

ROFLMAO @ Cece...as long as you're not bitter or anything...*waves from the bitter corner herself*

Amie Stuart said...

*hands steph a cup of coffee*

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