Quote & Joke of the Day

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Quote of the day:

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Well we all know what that makes me...

And further to my quest of being a lazy blogger, another cut n’ paste job on the latest joke email:

WHY. . . .

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why?
Because people are very, very silly.
This is why radioactive roaches shall inherit the earth...

~Dreamweaver

Olga said...

Lol, awesome post. And you know, I'm guilty of that vacuum cleaner stuff. Vanessa, do you want to swap links by any chance?

Silma said...

This post got me thinking. How come there aren't any father-in-laws jokes? :D

Jill said...

LOL, love these! Wish I'd had this list when I blogged about the mysteries of life the other day ...

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