My man, Snowy.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

I looked outside my window today, and who should I see, but Snowy! “Just blew into town last night, babes." he said. "Why don’t you come out and chill with me a spell?”

Snowy has a blinding white smile; he can be real deep and silent, or mischieviously playful. And his touch is as soft as a baby’s sigh. He did a little two step, moving in that fluid way he has; enticing me, and reminding me of back in the day when we use to roll around, slipping, sliding, laughing. He’d get under my clothes, nipping at my nose, gilding my lashes, lips and fingertips; then he’d go all blustery till my cheeks would turn red and I breathed in short gasps. He made me shh-sh-shiver.

So I said, “Sure thing, hon. Here I come,” and bundled up.

I get outdoors, and Snowy is like, “Aww baby girl, sugar doll, honeysuckle darling, let me help you on your way.” And he went on ahead, clearing a path for me with his dancing, swirling footsteps. Then he’d be at my back with that extra little push, 'hurryhurryhurryhurry' he’d urge in his low whistling whisper, guiding me firmly across the street.

“Now why was I afraid to come out? This isn’t so bad.” I stamped my feet, encouraging some feeling other than ‘numb’ back into them. “Gotta take more chances, girl.”

The lady beside me, also waiting for the light to change, gave me an odd look.

But like all relationships, this one turned a corner. And that’s when it happened. Bitch slapped. A fickle, frosty, right-hand straight to the kisser. “Snowy, what are you doin?” I sputter through a mouthful of his white wrath.

“Shuddafeckup. Did I tell you, you could talk?” he howled back, in a gust of artic rage and scored my face with icy fingernails. My eyes squeezed shut, yet that didn’t stop the tears. Then I went running for cover, any place to get away from him; but he was everywhere at once, tripping me up, wheeling me backwards, blindsiding me, and tearing at my clothes. “Now git your five-dollar ass home, before I make some change!” I doubled over at this last attack, and headed home as fast as I could on shaky legs, with Snowy nipping at my heels.

I’m inside now, safe and warm. That’s right Snowy—Mister Tease ‘em then Freeze ‘em—you and I are through. And soon I’ll be the one laughing in the sunshine while you won’t even be a dried up memory in someone’s stinky-assed sewer system.


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11 comments:

Anna Lucia said...

Damn, Vanessa, that's GOOD.

Linda Winfree said...

Ditto!

Oooh, extended metaphor using personification -- Ms. English Teacher is MOST impressed.

Amie Stuart said...

I"m howling with laughter. Five dollar ass indeed! That's two lungs I've coughed up today thanks to you and the other lovely Vanessa.....

Anonymous said...

Geez, almost fell off the couch laughing...
Girl, you should be a writer!!

~Dream

Sasha White said...

Fantastic post, Vanessa!!

Julie said...

You're awesome.

Larissa said...

LOL! That was great!

And I'm SO jealous. I want snow!!!!!!!! Man, I want to move back to Michigan! :(

Jaye said...

::blush:: glad you enjoyed it. I wrote that on pure adrenylin. lol. I was so pissed off, and cold, after spending most of that morning being battered by the wind and snow. :-P

Larrisa, you're nuts. gg. To be honest, today was a perfect day, thick powdery snow on the ground, and a pale blue crystalline sky, with the sun shinning down brightly. Perfect for skating, skiing, snowboarding, toboganing, looking out the window... gg

Steph T. said...

This was awesome!! It was even more poignant because I too was bitch slapped today by the blizzard - LOL.

Anonymous said...

That was great, Jaq!!! LOL.

Suzanne

Larissa said...

I WANT SNOW!!!!!!!!!!! Argh! Figures that the first winter I move away from a northern state they get the worst winter in decades, and while I was THERE they had the mildest. I ALWAYS miss the best weather!!!!

Okay, there was that little matter of the hurricane last year...

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