Damn it feels good in the zone.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

If you read the comment to the post below, you'll know I was hating the Xmas story I was doing for Samhain's free read. Although I was super-chuffed that I'd managed to write (before work, on my lunch-break, then in the evening) a little over 4 single spaced pages.

But it was kinda sucking ass.

This morning I chopped 2 pages worth of stuff, then wrote 6 pages of new stuff, (for a total of 8 single-spaced pages) and I'm much, much, much happier with the story. It was just a little too lightweight before.

Now there's more emotion, and I even got some action in there. The current word count is 4,436. I'm going to do a final read-thru/polish tomorrow morning, then send it out for a crit.

I haven't posted an excerpt in awhile, so you want a little peek? Here's the jacked-up blurb:

A love triangle** that takes place in the North Pole between a torch-carrying Jack Frost, an angsty timber-werewolf named Furio, and Holly Claus, Santa's daughter.

btw, this is *not* a menage story.

Unedited excerpt (takes place during dinner):

“So, Jack, about tomorrow night.” Holly decided to cut to the chase. She had the beginnings of a headache, whether it was from too much red wine, or from watching Jadis practically feeding her nipples to Furio, or from fending off Jack’s flirtatious overtures, it didn’t matter. She pressed fingertips to her temple.

“Yes?” He leaned in closer; she noticed for the first time that tiny crystal flakes clung to his lashes and in his hair. He was quite dazzling when you paid attention.

He chuckled. “Well, I’m glad you’re finally paying attention. But you’re the one who’s dazzling.”

“Did I say that out loud?”

He nodded, a slight smile curving his lips.

Holly felt her face warm. No more drinking for her tonight.

“About tomorrow night?” he prompted.

“Will you make it snow?”

“Is that what you’d like?”

“Yes. It would make Christmas magical.”

“Then I will make magic for you,” he whispered and placed a light kiss on her lips. His lips were cold, but the sensation was hot.

Holly straightened like a shot in her seat, completely flustered, hand pressed to her mouth. She didn’t want him doing anything for her. She certainly didn’t want him kissing her. All she wanted for Christmas was—

She looked across the table again, past the fancy crystal and silver candlesticks. Furio’s hands were spread out on the white tablecloth, his claws fully extended and embedded into the wood. His eyes blazed with disgust at her.

He probably thought she was a hypocritical slut, complaining about Jack at breakfast this morning, and now apparently swapping spit with him at the dinner table.

Something inside her shriveled. She didn’t give a damn anymore. She was tired of trying to get Furio’s attention or approval. At least Jack Frost liked her, and he was going to make magic, just for her.

Holly spent the rest of the night flirting outrageously with Jack and ignoring the wolf.
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raine said...

I LIKE this!
Jack sounds pretty sexy...for a frigid kinda guy, lol.
Good on you. :)

azteclady said...

*being quiet so as not to distract you*

vanessa jaye said...

Raine - It was fun writing it. I almost wished it was a longer story so I could've explored the world-building more.

AL - I've been pretty good resisting distractions lately. ;-) But thanks!

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