Sayin' "No, no, no" to 'Ho, Ho, Ho."

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Someone really needs to put a stop to this "Politically Correct" crap.

Apparently:

"SYDNEY (AFP) - Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday. Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported."

Give. Me. A. Break.

What's next?

Santa will no longer have a full head of snowy white hair and a full, curling beard and moustache as they're viewed as unhygienic, particularly as Mall Santa is usually positioned so close to the food court. Clearly an infraction of the Food and Beverage Services Act. Lose the hat, get a hairnet.

No more rosy cheeks and nose for Santa. Rosacea flareups are often caused by drinking. With the dangers of overdrinking during the holiday season, it's imperitive that Santa not be seen as endorsing such behaviour. We'll leave that to the Budweiser frogs.

Santa needs to go on a diet. Obesity is a serious and growing concern. Diabetes is on the rise. Henceforth, Santa will no longer use a sled and reindeer on his annual trip. He'll portage those presents, thereby improve his cardiovascular performance and increase upper and lower body strength.

The overweight feel undue pressure to be constantly 'jolly' because of ol' St. Nick. He needs to cut that shit out. Mental Health issues, anyone? Bueller? Santa will be attending The Scrooge School of Deportment in future.

PETA will raise concerns re animal cruelty from overwork (during Dec 24-25) and inadequate exercise the rest of the year. And why is Rudolf's nose so bright? hmmm? Obviously a nervous reaction brought on by stress. The reindeer will henceforth be released back into wild.

And about that red suit. Is that baby seal fur trimming the cuffs, collar? No more. GORE-TEX™ is where it's at Santa. Where you been?

Helper elves? Or a thinly disguised endorsement of child labour? You decide.

Ha-effin-ha-ha? Santa ain't no clown-boy. Santa says: Ho, Ho, Ho, Beeeyoitches!!






The rest of the article can be found here.
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6 comments:

Dev said...

Unbelievable! This is assinine.

vanessa jaye said...

It's beyond stupid, Dev. Political Correctness has really outstayed it's welcome.

Shesawriter said...

Oh, for deity's sake! This is just silly. What is WRONG with people?

raine said...

People have lost their freaking minds.

Gennita said...

I was blogging about this today too, Vanessa, along with the "family tree" available from Lowe's. BAH. Or is that just so rude to sheep?

vanessa jaye said...

"Family Tree"? If it's not about geneology, then it's a damn Xmas tree. >:-P pbftttt~*~*~ (or is that hurtful to all raspberries?)

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