Maxine's Guide for Men to Words Women Use (joke)

1.) "Fine": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2.) "Five Minutes": If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help do things around the house.

3.) "Nothing": This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).

4.) "Go Ahead": This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing . (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) "That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. 'That's okay' means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) "Thanks": A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) "Whatever": Is a women's way of saying '%@&* YOU!'

9.) "Don't worry about it, I got it": Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'what's wrong' - for the woman's response, refer to #3.