Maxine's Guide for Men to Words Women Use (joke)

Friday, June 29, 2007

1.) "Fine": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2.) "Five Minutes": If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help do things around the house.

3.) "Nothing": This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).

4.) "Go Ahead": This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing . (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) "That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. 'That's okay' means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) "Thanks": A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) "Whatever": Is a women's way of saying '%@&* YOU!'

9.) "Don't worry about it, I got it": Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'what's wrong' - for the woman's response, refer to #3.
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Jordan Summers said...

*ggg* Love Maxine!

Linda Winfree said...

ROFL. Sounds like conversations around my house. :-)

Jaye said...

For me, #6 is sooooo true. lol. That's exactly what I mean when I say: That's okay. lol. Actually, #1, is pretty true too.

raine said...

Number six.

Definitely number six.

And oh yes--you will pay.

Dee said...

LOL, you know, I WANT to say these aren't true, but man...are they true!

Now to show my hubby this without him getting mad. Gotta be subliminal, you know. :)


PS: This is my password code: wzvsbwzu
Evidence that I love you, Jaye. Good God!

Tara Marie said...

I must be incredibly predictable as I have used all of these during "discussions" in our house--LOL.

Amie Stuart said...

You left out my favorite, "Fine....whatever." This is the same as, "That's okay," but when said properly will scare the bejesus out of small boychildren who dare to anger me.

Jaye said...

One of my favourites is not there. It's that non-commital 'hmm-uhmm' you make under your breath when the other person pauses to take a breath in the middle of some excuse that you're just not interested in. In fact, you've stopped listening (for the sake of your blood pressure) and are now thinking of purely evil thoughts involving them and a whole lot of pain. *gg*

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