So I'll stop posting...

Thursday, October 19, 2006

"Boring, non-imaginative, flat, just-words-on-paper" soon. Really. I'm taking some good advice and "working on it". ;-)

Anywho... I was looking for something in my files and came across an old manscript. There's a part in the prologue that use to make me chuckle. I read it again, and it's still funny. The set up is, the hero is about to be attacked by an evil shape-shifter in the woods, when these two hunters--Vern and Tom--interrupt with a little comic relief:

“Good. That's it. Anger makes the blood flow stronger.” The creature's stinking breath reached his nostrils and Sal gagged. Then the shape-shifter lowered its voice in a haunting caress. “And fear makes it run so thick and sweet.”

Sal braced himself against the rough bark, ready to meet his fate, when a beam of light cut through the trees, followed by distant voices that pierced this nightmare.

“I’m telling ya Tom, I saw something out here. Now come on.”

“What the hell did you see, Vern, the Easter bunny? Or, or, I know... ya saw Big foot. I bet you saw the big guy out here taking a wizz, and you wanted to get a closer look to compare sizes. Now why you want to go embarrass yourself like that Vern? Heck-in-a-hand-bucket, even Tommy Jr could show you up in that department. Just like his ol’ daddy.

“Shut up Tom. I think something moved over there.”


The beam of light cut a revealing swath near Sal and the creature, who had stopped in its tracks, looking over it’s shoulder in the direction of the approaching intruders.

“I’ll tell you what’s over there. Trees. Just like this tree right here, and them trees over—”

“Will you shut your darn shit-shootin’ mouth? Hey what’s that?”

The light landed on them and Cal turned away from the blinding beam.

“Holy shit! Do you see that Tom? Blow me!”

“I-I’d r-rather not, Vern. Shit! I t-think I s-see someone. Hey you, S-sasquatch! Move away from that m-man!”

A shot rang out.


I'm going to have to write them into another scene in this ms, at some point. lol.
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3 comments:

Amie Stuart said...

Shit shootin! BWAAAAAAAAAAAA shit shootin!!!!!!

raine said...

I love it, lol!!

Yeah, you MUST use them more than once. *gg*

Jaye said...

It's Tom's last reply that always gets me: "I'd rather not, Vern." lol.

An aside.. I had a boss (male) whose favourite curse was 'well, f*ck me.' No, it wasn't meant sexually, it was just his way of saying something didn't make any sense whatsoever, while expressing his anger. He was a pretty funny guy, actually. Loved to laugh and was quick with a come back. But the air was liable to turn blue in his vicinity when angered.

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