Mailman's Last Day (joke)

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Howzabout I special delivery my foot up your heinie?
It was George the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee met him at the door. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'F*ck him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."
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Jill said...

LOL, thanks for my first good laugh today!

Anonymous said...

Well told. And I loved the picture.

Anonymous said...

You KNOW I especially liked this one, lol!!
(does this mean I have something to look forward to??)


Jaye said...

I burst out laughing when I read that last line. I just knew I had to post it. *snap!* I just realized I just have put the 'humping' smiley in this post. Think I'll do an edit. ;-)

Danica said...


Anonymous said...

This is your mailman.... and I'll be retiring soon.

Anonymous said...

** This is your mailman.... and I'll be retiring soon. **



Sasha said...

Love it!

Thanks for the giggle!

Michelle said...

LOL!!! Funny story. :)

Amie Stuart said...

LOL you are just bad bad BAD.

I worry for your mailman LOL

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