Winters in Canada (joke)

Thursday, January 07, 2010

50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Canadians plant gardens

40 Fahrenheit (4.4 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Canadians Sunbathe.

35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down

32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
Distilled water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.

0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-40 Fahrenheit (-40 C)
Hollywood disintegrates.
Canadians rent some videos.

-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Canadians pull down their earflaps.

-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-459.4 Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh? "

-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Cup

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Anonymous said...

HA HA HA! I love it!

As I sit here shivering in my living Canada :)

vanessa jaye said...

Hey, Natasha. :-)

It's actually warmed up a bit here in Toronto. On Monday it was minus 20 with the windchill. ::counting down till spring::


Anonymous said...

ROFL! I'm in Brampton. LOL

the author said...

Lol. Here's the Chicago version:

60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats.
Chicago people sunbathe.

50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Chicago people plant gardens.

40 above - Italian cars won't start.
Chicago people drive with the windows down.

32 above - Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.

20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold.

15 above - New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt.

0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico.
Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the

20 below - People in Miami cease to exist.
Chicago people get out their winter coats.

40 below - Hollywood disintegrates.
Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

60 below - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Chicago's Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets
cold enough.

80 below - Mount St. Helen's freezes.
Chicago people rent some videos.

100 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Chicago people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

297 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 below - ALL atomic motion stops.
Chicago people start saying. . ."Cold 'nuff for ya??"

500 below - Hell freezes over.
The Chicago Cubs win the World Series OR the Bears win the SuperBowl

azteclady said...

I think by blood is too thin... I cannot even conceive breathing in anything below -15 C

What? I've existed all my life--44 years--in the tropics, after all.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
vanessa jaye said...

Hey Natasha, cool to have a fellow GTAer visit! :-)

Lynn- LOL! I like the Chicago version better. :-P~~~~

Aztec-- I've stopped making jokes about wussy Florida residents once I realized you guys have no way of really dealing with the cold. No heating, no parkas. Hope you're handling it well.

Monica said...

Very funny.

Makes me want to move to Canada, where the folks tend to have blue cajones instead of red state ones, even more!

Chicago is just more of the same, and I have enuf here.

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