Squeeee!! OMG!

It’s no coincidence your story sucks.

Hero – check.
Heroine – check.
Set up – check.
Ooooo, ideas for hot lovescene – check and check…mate!

Plot? – erm, yeah, sure. That is, I mean… there’s a framework within which stuff happens. ::coughcough::

Goal, Motivation, Conflict? – What, tragic back-story doesn’t count? How complicated does this have to be?

Very.

At least more than that rickety construction you have going at the moment.

If you’re relying on coincidence to pull your story together, from the first meet to the turning points, to the rising conflict and the final dénouement? You can rest assued that chance plays no part in your story sucking like a toothless asthmatic whore giving bjs at a glory-hole.

Ask yourself : why? (no, not why Ms Glory-hole, isn't sucking on her inhaler instead) But, why are those characters there in that particular scene? I mean, really, Why? Not surface happenstance, but depth of purpose. What do they want? How does this complicate things? How does it move the story forward?

I had a couple of coincidences in the beginning of the current wip. They were flimsy things. Not trustworthy enough to blow your nose in. But they did perform a type of basting stitch that joined one scene to the next.

What I needed was a backstitch. I needed something stronger to replace the coincidences. A commonality that also put the protagonists in opposition. Something that made the story feel more driven and the characters more purposeful. I think a found it.

Now to find the energy to write it.

Interesting tid-bits from History

I was doing a bit of research for my hero Mitch. I wanted to make him of African decent and was looking into the various African nations, their histories, and came across this link: The Black Poor in 18th Century England

Did not know about any of this. I definitely want to read more into this, and I found the whole origin of settlement in Sierra Leone fascinating (followed a bunch of other links regarding that) but this bit is just crying for a book to be written:

They were then given a document granting the citizenship of Sierra Leone. On April 9, 1787 the ships left Portsmouth with about 280 Black men, 70 White women, and 40 Black women. They were accompanied by some English tradesmen. The white women were most likely the wives and girlfriends of Black men. Today the descendants of the Black Poor are the Sierra Leone Creole people.

What a basis for an epic historical interracial romance that would have a believable HEA! Or maybe that should be a HATAA ending (Happy As They Are Able). Anywho, something to leave percolating on the backburner for now. Maybe I'll never write it, but if someone gets the inspiration and goes ahead with it, let me know! I'd definitely read it.

Btw. still haven't settled in on Mitch's background. Thinking I'll have to shift it to South America--because the time lines aren't working out--but how does that explain his very Americanized Urban English? More to think about... *sigh*

I like clichés

There I said it.

But bear with me for a sec. Clichés are clichés because they cut right to the heart of whatever it is you're trying to get across, and they do so expeditiously without further examples/explanation. I guess I should state here that I'm talking about clichéd phrases: Sharp as a tack, et al.

The problem with clichés is they're well-worn. You've heard them a time or two or twenty... million. But, you know what? If they're used judiciously, I see no need to eradicate every single cliché from a piece of writing.

Sure it doesn't hurt to freshen up a cliché, to change it to something that adds humor, or is more relevant to character/setting--ie using 'Sharp as a Wusthof Dreizack' instead of 'sharp as a tack' in a book about a chef.

But if you have to turn the writing in knots to just avoid the cliché, if you end up with something plodding, awkward and wordy, something that calls attention to itself, or loses the author's voice and lyricism of the piece, then just leave the damn cliché be.

If the readers’ eyes glide right over it, in the same way the use of 'said' disappears with dialogue tags, maybe you should let it be, unless the cliché is meant to work harder.

I'm not a 'said' purist. I think 'whispered' or 'yelled', etc., bring more to the table, if they're needed and you can't convey the tone with just word choice. (Adding an exclamation point does not necessarily imply that someone is yelling, it could just indication force of emotion.)

Can I just point back to the near top of this post where I said 'judicious' use? 'kaitnx.

What brought this on? I just read a bit of writing someone had posted on a loop for feedback. I honestly had no intention of giving feedback (too lazy), but I was curious to read the writing and what others had to say. One critiquer in particular highlighted every single (what they thought of as) cliché. Stuff my eyes went right over. Stuff that quite honestly, in the second reading, didn't strike me as being clichés at all. Maybe the descriptions weren't particularly poetic, but since I didn't feel they were the point of the scene, nor did they distract, I was fine.

Being pedantic is fine, but one of the major points of reading/writing, is to involve the reader emotionally. Draw them in. If that means breaking a few Ritin'Rulez, hey go for it.

A grammatically perfect, beautiful writ work of art that leaves the reader cold, is a perfectly beautiful bore that most people will never bother to finish reading.

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Check In, Making Plans

Sorry for the absence (although you might have seen me pop up here and there), but I got thrown into the deep end of the pool with some surprise training/mandate to take on some new responsibilities.

Literally hit the ground running, and brain power has been in short supply by the time I get home.

Anywho, been working on book two of the shifter series during the morning commute into work. Heard back from my editor, she said she'd *try* to get back to me with a yea or nay, mid-month May. ::crossing fingers it's a 'yea'::

If it does sell, it probably won't be released until the fall, so I'm also hoping to get the current wip done by then, so *if* I sell the second book, I *could* have a release date for it around the time Hunter of the Heart goes on sale.

This is all supposition/wishful thinking. But it's kinda weird I'm even thinking/planning like this. Maybe I really am, finally, getting my writing groove back.

3-0

False starts vs Jaye. :-/

In other more important news, check over on Dear Author for the lastest on the Amazon Rank wtfeckery.

Also check here at Smart B!tches for more on the Amazon Rank fiasco.

New Project

Hunter Of The Heart is pretty much in the can at this point. Got back 3 kick-ass critiques (Thank you, Joyce, Dee and Raine!) and I finished the last of the revisions last night, plus the synopsis--which I sent out for a quick look-over. The whole dang thing will be in my editor's inbox by the end of the week, the latest. *phew*

Today, I'm finally going to start on book 2 in my (proposed) Moon, Magic, Madness series, but I'm going to write on the Quick-pad. I did a lot of HotH in longhand, but what a pain in the butt it was to transcribe everything in Word! Much easier to just upload it from the Quick-pad.

Anywho I got a fouled-mouth were-panther enforcer and a kleptomaniac sexually-free spirited wizard to start writing about. Laters.

Text Adventure.

Amie sent me this link. I could almost be seduced into Twittering if this is the stuff I'll come across. But no Twittering for me until I finish next manuscript. Sorry for the absence guys. Life sux at the moment and I have to deal. :-/

Writer's Quest: Text Adventure



And for more cyber writers fun, check out Raine's post here: The Author's Virtual Holodeck.

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For the Seinfeld Fan

My son sent me this, we're both big fans of Seinfeld (and now, Curb Your Enthusiasm). The picture is bursting with references to favourite Seinfeld episodes. Have a blast identifying them. You can click onto the image for a larger version.

Catch Up

Almost lost the latest version of the wip last night. After working through the two critiques I've gotten back so far, I went to save the document at around 12am and got an error message. Windows wanted to save it under that weird "W~temp" attribution. Thank goodness I didn't! I copied the whole wip into a new doc and saved that as a backup, then followed the windows prompt.

No surprise that when I re-opened WORD the 'w~' doc had disappeared. But the back up was still there.

As for the crits themselves, the line edits were mostly about words that should be hyphenated and words that shouldn't. I seemed to have gotten over my misuse of semi-colons. *heh*.

But both critiques had a couple of concerns in common re the heroine, and various other concerns, separately. What I find interesting, is, this is Nate's story. So much so that the heroine was just a cipher on the page in the earliest drafts. She was just there reacting to things around her, while the hero’s issues, pain, and back-story were right there on the page. Yet, I flesh her out a bit, with a little back-story and both critiques wanted to see her personal issues resolved in a much more decisive way on the page. I'm a hero-centric reader, but I'm beginning to suspect I might be a heroine centric writer. The reaction to Felicity made sense, it's her story in Felicity Stripped Bare, but it's interesting to see almost the same reaction (albeit from 2 beta readers) to Tessa, when it's Nate's story.

Which brings me to story 2. I keep thinking of it as the hero's book, but as I flesh out back stories in my mind, I think the heroine will be the one readers respond to more strongly. Guess that means I need actively think about making my heroes more appealing on page. Not that they're unappealing, but I'd like to write the type of hero that becomes a reader favourite.

On today's To-Do List:

1. The arborist will be by in an hour or so to give me an estimate on some trees that need trimming in the backyard, particularly the 50yr Elm with branches overhanging my roof and the neighbour's. Done!

2. I brought files home from work, got to get cracking on them because I'm handing over so of my work tomorrow, so I can start training on some new projects (with someone I totally dislike. Where are my stress tabs? :-/ ) Done!

3. Tomorrow is the boy's 21st birthday. =:-O I can not believe I have a 21yr old! Having him at 12ys old was so worth it. Joking! I was 13. JOKING!!! Anywho, I still have one other present to buy and a card, and a chocolate cake to procure. (Cause, hell no, I don’t have the time or energy to bake one.)

4. Didn't get out yesterday, the weather outside sucked and I wasn't feeling great, but today going to run out and do some grocery shopping, and return books to the library.Done!

5. Get the synopsis done for the wip.Done!

6. Start on the outline for book 2.

7. Wash/condition my hair (Done!) and do some laundry and a bit of tidying up.

8. Do a crit for someone!Done!

To that end, going to check my email (Done!) then get started on the list.

The Gunfighter

A cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West.

The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition.

'Do you think you could give me some tips?' he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, ‘Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'Sure will,' replied the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bowtie off the piano player.

'That's terrific!’ said the hot shot. 'Got any more tips for me?'

'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the younger man.

'You bet it will, said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.'

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

'No,' said the old timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much...

Joke

Food For Thought

Got off the phone with Deedle awhile ago. She read the wip and likes it! (yeah!!) But she had a number of suggestions to tweak it here and there. The funny thing is, the places and things she wanted me to add 'meat' to, are the places and things that I had cut the fat out of.

I'm going to revist those point. On one hand I must have had my reason for cutting fat, but talking with her, she made excellent points in her reasonings for fleshing certain aspects of the story.

At least I can let my breath out now. It's always hairy waiting to hear back on crits/submissions.

Adam Idol

Seriously. Adam is original, he's interesting, he's unpredictable, and while he's done some things that made me go wft, he's never disappointed. Never mind the crazy range the boy has.

The other contestants just aren't bringing their A game, and there's some serious talent in the line up.

Having said that, I think Kris bestest him tonight.

Kris, Adam, Danny for top 3.

Anoop is in trouble. Megan was doing her Winehouse wannabe act, and didn't quite pull it off.

The rest of them are a toss up.

The End

Done. Finally. Everything transcribed and loaded onto the word.doc, and in relatively good shape. I'm going to let it sit for a couple of hours, then take one last, light, pass at it before I send it out to the critters.

I'm sick officially sick of this mss, so for any critters reading this, there will be no need to wait and see if I send out updated version.

A couple of things:

1. I had to do a find and replace on 'suddenly'. It was my official crutch word for this ms (tho, I suspect there are others, I haven't twigged to yet).

2. Had to change the hero's name to Nate/Nathan from Cal. It's a little scary how popular Cal is in paranormal/UF books. Nate might be too, but not as much. I think.(Plus I have another mss--fantasy/romance--with a major character name Callum.)

3. OMG, I overdid it with the syrupy, sappy shit at the ending. Just backed up ye ol literary cement n' metaphore mixer and poured on a tonnage of sugary schmoopsie, boopsie, Wuv U 4EVR, Alwyz B mine!! all over the last chapter. Gag.

The Never-ending Ending

I'd planned to finish this story two chapters ago. Didn't quite work out that way. Mostly because alot of my notes were point-form/sketching.

Fer instance, at one point I had a 2 sentence description of action. That got turned into 6 pages once I worked it out in the word.doc.

The good news is, the handwritten notes are more detailed at this point, so I'm doing more of a straight transcription. The stuff is still rough and needs fleshing out/layering. but I've only got another couple of pages to do. After that I'll be done!done!done! the first draft and this sucker will be off to the critique buddies at some point tomorrow.

Then I owe a very patient someone a 50 page crit(as in, they won the crit in that auction Karen ran a couple of months ago for Sharon Cullars).

Then I'm going to be lazy, read a lot, replenish the well, deal with the feedback I recieve on this ms (I asked for a 2 week turn around, if possible), hash up a half-assed synopsis and submit the whole kit and kaboodle to my editor.

Then start plotting the next novella in this series.

'K, it's a little after midnight, I've got one last load of laundry to put in the dryer and another to take out, then stick a fork in me, I'm done for the night.

Today's Delish Book Binge

The battery on my watched died today, so I ran downstairs to have the guy in the jewelry shop replace it. Then I figured, I might as well stretch my legs a bit... in the direction of the bookstore.

When will I ever learn I can't resist?!?!?!


Today's buys:



How could I resist that title? I couldn't!

Synopsis:
Sienna Wainwright has one passionate night with international financier Rafe Lombardi before he unceremoniously casts her out of his bed. Sienna hopes never to see his seductively arrogant face again, but six weeks later their world changes—forever….
Rafe is no longer just a billionaire, but is revealed as the prince of Montvelatte. What's more, Sienna is pregnant—with his twins! What choice does she have now? Rafe is determined to claim his heirs and take Sienna as his royal wife!

Click onto the cover for the Amazon page, and the pretty damn risque deliciously classic-Presents-in-tone excerpt. (10 points for describing the heroine's hair as Titian!)






I think the title caught me on this, one, then the image. The blurb sold me. Although this one sounds vaguely like that movie with Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie (Original Sin).

The bookcover even kinda looks like her. Oh, and you can't see it in the picture, but the image is all glossy, except for the writing which is matt with embossed/raised font. And the edges of the pages are all rough. Love it. (A little off tangent here, I love my Sony, for many and varied reasons, but this is why I'll always perfer the tactile experience of a book in hand.)

Okay. Here's the synopsis: (From the publisher)

Set in a small Wisconsin farming and manufacturing town still crumbling a decade after the depression of the 1890s, A Reliable Wife tells the story of Ralph Truitt, a wealthy businessman who advertises for “a reliable wife” in newspapers across America.

The woman he chooses, Catherine Land, describes herself as “a simple, honest woman,” but in truth she is both complex and devious— not the missionary’s daughter she claims to be in her letter to Truitt but a courtesan of great beauty, kept by men and haunted by a terrible past.

Catherine’s plan in accepting the marriage offer is simple: she will win this man’s devotion, and then, ever so slowly, she will poison him and leave Wisconsin a wealthy widow. What she has not counted on, though, is the passion she finds in this seemingly solid, forthright man—a man who also harbours secrets and whose own past is far from pure.


Another case of the cover art jumping off the shelf at me.



Love the noir imagery and the hot pink/mauves.

Ed Brubaker is an awesome comic book author. That was enough for me. Sold!

Synopsis:

A woman in trouble, friends on the run from cops and mobsters, and a secret no one is prepared to face! Five years ago, Jake was a happy family man, long-retired from the life of crime he grew up in, and then the police made him the prime suspect in a horrible crime and ripped his life apart! Now, years later, Jake is less than a shadow of his former self, a hopeless insomniac who walks the city streets at night. But one night, he walks into the wrong place at the right time, and his whole life changes again... Collects Criminal 2 #4-8.


Last but not least, since the credit card was already warmed up, I finally shelled out for a used copy of Megan Chance's The Portrait, a book I've been wanting to read for years.




Synopsis:

She was his inspiration and his undoing....

The reigning master of the New York art world, Jonas Whitaker was brilliant and compelling, a man of dark passions and uncontrollable emotions. Terrified of his own dangerous nature and scarred by the horror of his emptiness -- until Imogene Carter pushed her way into his life.

He discounted her on sight, seeing her as a colorless, fragile woman with no spirit and less talent. He could send her running with a word -- and he intended to do just that. But Imogene was not so easily frightened. She came to Jonas to learn from a master, and learn she would -- everything he could teach her. She wanted his artist's secrets and his brilliant passion. She wanted to be swept up in his seductive, forbidden world.

Until she saw the terrible price he paid for his talent.

And realized it was impossible to catch a shooting star without being burned.…

(For those of you who've never heard of this one, the hero is bi-polar and from all accounts the author did a realistic portrayal of the condition.)

I'm in the writing cave this weekend. Gonna get the wip done/edited and sent to the crit partners byt Sunday night the latest.

American Idol- my ranking

What contest is Adam in again?

I'm tempted to rank him #1 this week, but really he is in a whole different league of his own. I'd have to rank him 1 thru 10 and then start with the rest.

I always look forward to his performance, not only because I know he'll surprise me (talk about versatility), but also because I know he's going to nail it vocally.

And, btw, my, my, my he cleans up well, don't he? Love the retro look on him. I'm downloading his version of that track from itune if/when it's available.

So let's rank the rest:

1. Allison. Wow. She brung it.

2. Matt - dude keeps upping his game every week. Loved his performance tonight. Well done.

3. Good Ole Danny - not his best performance, but definitely a crowd pleaser. I really love that raspy/husky quality of his singing voice.


At the bottom:

1. Megan. That was painful. (But, dang, she's beautiful.)

2. Scott. And even more elevator music. I'm sorry, Scott's a nice guy. But his performances bore me. Mandolin Rain was the only time he made me sit up and take notice.

You two should go home. Based your performances. But I *think* folks might keep you around for various 'non-singing talent' reasons.

3. Michael. Awkward.

4. Anoop. Good vocals. Sappy execution. And where's your stylist? That GAP/ pres of the chess-club/ future accountant on his downtime look, plus the Ted Koppel hair, leaves a lot to be desired.

5. Lil. You keep choosing the wrong song. I'm inevitably disappointed in your performances week afer week, because you have the chops to send shivers down my spine, yet....you never do.

6. Kris. Nothing special. But the tween girls will keep you around for a bit longer.

How I'm Feeling About the current manuscript:

It's really come together.

And I'm on the last chapter!! WoOt!

Man I'm tired of typing.

Going to give it another hour or so. Here's what's on my iPod at the moment. Great blues song.