Good for a laugh

I love this chick's blog, Kentucky Fried Adventures (you need to scroll down the page to read her latest post). She's just too funny.

**strong language warning for the faint of heart.

No writing done. But got lots of other stuff done, so it's a wash. (and was thinking about ms all day, so that has to count for something.)

Arggg!! Blogger hell!

I wrote two fairly longish posts on my writing progress. One last night one this morning. One one last night posted fine, the one this morning didn't. The upshot of all this is both posts are now gone. Arrghh!

There's nothing I can do about last night's post. It's gone for good. But the draft of today's post is still on an open word doc. So I'll repost that in this blog message. The short form of last night's post is I revised chapter one yesterday.

re-posting:
I read in one of those writing magazines, years ago, that a mystery was two stories, the first is the actual crime. The players, motivation, etc. The second story is the one you write, the solving of the mystery. I did a bit assbackwards, upside down. I had a vaguish idea of the elements of the mystery and players/suspects, then I thought about the actual crime. :-P

This morning on the ride in to work, I fleshed out one minor mystery in the story and worked out how it will be solved. I don't want this one to take up too much wordage, but it's a loose end that will have to be tied up. I also had to think about how it impacts on Zoe and Odil and came up with a few good points there. The major mystery I thought about last week and have that one fairly worked out. I think it's close to time to write the suckopsis (synopsis). It'll help clarify things better in my mind.

This week is going to be a dozy, I must clean up my apt, and do the growing mountain of laundry. And this is the week I get back to the gym, I think I may start dating again. Plus once again I find myself in possession of a life. gg. Two lunch dates, hair and esthetics appointments, and looks like I'll be tripping cross the border on Saturday for a day of shopping with my girlfriends.

I'll leave you with a joke:

LE STEAK

A man and his wife are seated in a fancy French restaurant for dinner.
After the waiter arrives the man says: "I'll have your biggest,
thickest Porterhouse steak." The waiter replies: "Monsieur.....what
about ze mad cow?" The man replies: "She'll have a salad."

**Btw, is it true? Did Chris Rock suck last night? ::whimper:: He's my favourite standup comedian, if it's true, I'm so glad I didn't watch the Oscars last night.

Time waster #398

What does your number spell?

Apparently, my private line at works sez, I'm a slut. Who knew? Ya mean I'm supposed to be having fun? You'd think they'd tell me my job description had changed....

The Amazing PCNator

Mrs Giggles slays me.

Good Bad guys.

We saw Constantine last night. Loved it! The special effects were awesome, the vision of hell and demons appropriately disturbing (scary), and of angels and religion, interesting.

One thing I really enjoyed was the characterization. John Constantine was a fully shaded anti-hero. You couldn’t put him in a box. Even after he had attained a certain amount of growth and salvation, appropriate to his character, he couldn’t resist giving one last 'finger'. gg.

I’ve never seen the devil portrayed as he was in this movie—-in his pristine white 'godfather' suit, and bare, tarred feet. Lovely. And Gabriel the angel? As played by Tilda Swinton (she of Orlando fame) the whole twisted ambiguity and shifty androgyny of that character was so well done.

I really, really like complex characters. Ones who have a dark side, an edge, a certain sense of the unpredictable, maybe even untrustworthiness. Not necessarily because they aren’t worthy of trust, but because that character hold his/her own code ethics and honor, that may not dovetail with everyone else’s. ;-) And their growth doesn’t have to be about losing those ‘bad’ or ‘dark’ traits altogether, but more about acknowledging something larger than themselves, something they need or want bad enough that they are willing to compromise or sacrifice to have it.

In ms#2, my heroine is an alcoholic (one of those secret, binge drinkers), the hero is somewhat amoral ( a contest judge compared him to Bobby Donal from The Practice, which brought a big smile to my face. Exactly. Although I was thinking more along the lines of that essence of ‘a little too smooth, tinged with danger’ vibe that Pierce Bronson exhibits as James Bond or Thomas Crown) Obviously, my H/h have a lot of growth to achieve during the story, I was looking forward to writing it, but the plot sucked and the book stalled at chapter 8. I’ll get around to revising it one of these fine days. I love Raine and Winston way too much to leave them in their literary limbo.

One hero protagonist I’ve never gotten out of my mind is Dillon Gaynor from Anne Stuart’s Into the Fire. It’s almost a stretch to call this asshole guy a 'hero', yet he was compelling and fully dimensional. Far more than the usual ‘bad boy’ seen on the pages of many romances (contemporary counterpart to the ‘fake rakes’ of historical novel), the author didn’t just tell the reader this guy was bad, she showed us, she made us see and believe it. The rest of the book didn’t quit work for me, but I’m thinking of picking the book up again for my keeper shelf, simply because of this character’s portrayal.

Another couple of bad guys that fascinated me were Tom Cruise’s 'Vincent' in Collateral, and David Carradine’s 'Bill' from Tarantino’s Kill Bill movies. Okay, these guys were beyond bad, they were psycho. But they are far more than 2-D Snidely Whiplash EEEEEViiile. Bill loved his daughter--we *saw* that--and when he confessed to Beatrice (The Bride) that she'd broken his heart, we had to believe him when he spoke this horrible truth that had been played out in the movie: "There are consequences to breaking the heart of a murderous bastard." And then there was Vincent--pairing Tom's charming mega-watt smile with a curiously intense, empty gaze--first berating Max (Jaime Foxx) for not bringing flowers to his hospitalized mother, then urging the 'loser' Max to go after his dreams (ultimately a very sadistic and cruel urging). Complexity. I like that. (Yeah, yeah, neither of these characters ‘grew’ in the sense I laid out above. I’m talking complexity now.)

Odil isn’t dark the way I thought he’d be, I can’t pinpoint it now, but the darkness is there, and I’ll find out what it is sooner or later in the writing. Zoë, on the other hand, has characteristics I don’t like, or at least, I don’t find admirable, but I’m not going to air brush them to make her character more palatable. One of the BIG mistakes I made with ms#1 was to pull my punches.

Just thought of another (obvious) dark character, Dracula as played by Gary Oldman in Francis Ford Coppola’s Dracula. You really got a sense of the depth of his corruption and also of his abiding love, and unquenchable longing for his one true soulmate—his wife, Elizabeta.

Oops! One more, Clay from Kelly Armstrong’s Bitten. An unrepentant werewolf in the throes of an obsessive, unrequited (sort of) love.

Last one, I promise-- Damon Rouke, the sexy as hell, gambling, 'fights hard and hurts easy', walking gotta-a-death-wish, N'awlins homicide dectective from Penelope Williams' dark mystery-thriller Sin series of books.

Er, one more. gg. Denzel Washington's John Creasy in Man on Fire. This guy wasn't flawed, he was broken, only holding it together by some very thin and frayed threads.

So while I’m on this subject can anyone recommend some good, complex dark heroes to me (books—any genre/nongenre, movies, tv shows)?

Cop Quotes

In my continued quest to be a lazy blogger, I just plucked this off of a general messageboard. Thought it was good for a giggle.

The following were heard on police car videos:

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

---------
"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
---------
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
--------
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
----------
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
----------
"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
----------
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
----------
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
----------
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."
----------
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
----------
"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
----------
"Just how big were those two beers?"
----------
"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
----------
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
----------
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

More this n that

I was a.w.o.l from blogland yesterday, just too darned tired. I’m so damned happy it’s Friday!! I’m skipping out of here early to get my hair done, then dinner and a movie (Constantine) tonight.

I had to put Ghoul aside for a bit to read Mary Janice Davidson's latest "Hello Gorgeous". It's a fast read, only 200 pages (of large font and mostly dialogue), and filled with her usual humor. I tried her first ‘Undead’ book, but it didn’t work for me—too frenetic, and got in the way of me bonding with the h/H. Bonding with the main character(s) is a deal breaker—along with not jiving with ‘voice’ — for me as a writer and reader. If the bond isn’t there I’m gone. So far this ‘light’ book is exactly what I need to counteract some of the stress I’ve been dealing with lately. The book is a keeper, I'll have to dig up, out of the TBR pile, the two other (non-undead) books I have of hers (that alternate history one in Alaska, and the Undercover double-novella)

I think I will finally be writing again this week-end. Odil feels *real* to me now, I can see his walk, the way he moves, his expressions. I can hear his voice. There’s still stuff to nail down, but that will happen as I write. He’s like a movie running through my head now. And, duh, I gave him a bit more GMC for that scene I was stuck on. :-P

Next thing, I’m ruminating over are the subplots. I don't want the ‘villain’ to walk onto the page and have the reader know immediately s/he is the one, (This is my first attempt at a ‘mystery’ subplot), so I’m trying to get my cast of thousands whittled down to manageable (don’t want the ‘romance’ to be overshadowed), while still leaving enough suspects. And I’m exploring their back-stories, motivations, and what will/could throw suspicion on them (everyone’s is guilty of something, right? g)

Sylvia and Alison have been talking about storyteller vs writer. I’m a little of both. I love the magic and fun of getting caught up in the unfolding of the story, the unexpected twists and turns, the emotion and laughter, and memories it can trigger. But I’m also in love with language, the rhythm or cadence, and the ways in which you can play with words. Reading this blog isn’t quite representative of my writing. I far more careless here. And even the excerpts I’ve posted have only shown the more ‘fun’ side of my voice, rather than the lyrical aspects.

Well, that’s it for today, I probably won’t check in again till tomorrow. Hope everyone has a Really Good Friday!

More Time Wasters (# 752 & 753)

I picked this up from Linda, The Book Genie says I'm 'male'. lol. Maybe I should introduce book genie to vitual me, that would clear up the confusion. g

And, I got this link in an email today. (move your cursor across the bears, you don’t have to click on them.)

This n that

I finished ‘Home Killings’ last night. Although the ending wasn't quite what I'd wished for (ie it had the 'villain confesses all to the victim' scene) I still enjoyed this one very much, and would recommended it. I’m definitely going to read book number two (looks like the romantic subplot--which I really, really, liked; it was complex, with lovely sexual tension, and a 'dark' hero--continues it’s arc into the next book….)

Tried to read Kearney’s ‘The Challenge’, again. Still no go. I guess her voice doesn’t work for me. I never did warm up to either the h/H, and never recovered from the switch from the opening kick-assed action scene in the first chapter, to a more ‘romancey’ vibe for the rest of the book. Also, I wasn’t "feeling" the sentient on-board computer with the sassy ‘tude. gg. Yet I kept *trying* to read this one because every time I flipped/skimmed ahead, I’d come across a really interesting scene. Oh well, this book will probably work for someone else.

I’m now reading: Ghoul by Michael Slade. I felt like good horror, and this book not only has 'recommend' blurbs by Alice Cooper, Bruce Dickenson of Iron Maiden and Robert Bloch, author of Psycho, on the cover, the ‘Thank You’/acknowledgments page lists Stephen King and Howard Phillips Lovecraft, plus it’s published by Penguin books. Normally I don't give a fig about cover blurbs, but these weren't your run of the mill ones. After this read, a couple of lush, very sensual, Historical Romances are next up.

**update: I couldn't find a link for this on Amazon or Indigo-Chapters and Googled it, just realized that link I have is to review that's not overly enthusiastic about the book. gg

I was a little down about *not* writing, even though I knew I was too tired to write anything but crap. Then I realized, yesterday, that my lovely subconscious is still working away at Odil.

I realized that I was noticing every prematurely graying man I crossed paths with in daily life—-the way he moves, holds his head, the contrast between dark brow and white hair, etc. I realized that I suddenly knew Odil’s favourite type of music (not the genre I had ‘given’ him), and that it’s tied to happy childhood memories for him. I now know--and can giggle about--his idea of what looks good for dressing up (er, a bit on the cheesy, disco, pimpfantastic side. gg) He plays the piano. Not classical stuff, jazzy. And he does it really well. I know his mom taught him to play. And the secondary cast is falling into place--the various villains and red herrings. So while I’d still like to be actually writing, in my head, things are happening.

I’m going to cool it on the submissions thing. Not that I have anything out there. Just the GH submission, plus one other thing. But I know I’m not a fast writer (no kidding), and I also know that I am heavily in a learning curve, a place I’d rather explore without the pressures of deadlines (like that was a current problem for me. gg), plus when (if) I do sell, I’d like a bit of a backlist for a cushion. Once you start writing in earnest and you're online, it's soo easy to get caught up in the immediacy of things--the contests, the submissions, the agent hunt--sometimes way before you're actually ready as a writer, or otherwise, to be doing any of it. Still, it's all part of the learning experience.

Time waster #1006

Create a Virtual You. gg

Mine actually came out 'not bad'--bodywise-- 'cept the girl gots no booty. gg. How can you be 'licious' with out da Bootay?

The face and hair(style), weren't even close (very limited selection there). But it was fun. Couldn't figure out how to post virtual me, tho. The site for some reason wouldn't let me save the model. And it's not an actual pic (jpeg/gif) but something else, that turned into pure gibberish code when I tried to email it to myself.

I also made a virtual Zoe and Odil, and Brad Pitt, and Hugh Jackman, and Clive Owen, and Dwayne Johnson, and Todd James, and.....

A little fun

I checked into my online RWA chapter last night, and they were playing a little game on the messageboards--it went something like this:

1. Grab the nearest book - not the "best" or "coolest" book, but the one
nearest to your hands right now.
2.Turn to page 33
3. Find the fifth sentence, and post it here along with the author's name and the name of the book.

Since I'm quick to steal an easy blog idea..... ;-) Wanna play?

My current read,Home Killings, is in my bag, so the closest book at hand is:
The Sundowners by Lesley Lokko.-- "She looked enviously at the perfect, pearly white teeth and wide, generous smile which completely transformed the otherwise tense and unhappy face."

I bought this book thinking it would be a real 'old school' glitz n glamour and tawdry sex type book, a la a Jackie Collin's novel or 'Scruples'. There were a couple of scenes in the middle of the book that I read in-store and convinced me to buy, but I found the first couple pages couldn't quite hook me, neither in character nor voice. :-( So it's been collecting dust on my desk ever since. I'm still willing to give it another try tho,.

Interesting….?

1. When a 35 yr old female, giggling inanely over the fact that some ‘guy’ she likes, in a group of friends, removed his gloves from the passenger seat of his car so she could sit, and asks if she should take this as a sign that he likes her(?) ::‘hopeful’ upswing in voice.:: This is not interesting. This is sad. Read this book.

2. When older co-worker moseys on over to my office and fills me in on all her aches and pains, her husband's aches and pains, various aches and pains of friends and relatives, and who has recently passed away, and who has been long deceased (including all the aches and pains leading up to deceasement), and who probably doesn’t have much longer (insert addendum of aches and pains)--all before I've even taken the first sip of my morning coffee, and using up a good 20 mins worth of my precious oxygen in the process--this isn’t interesting. This is morose, depressing, and somewhat sadistic.


3. When coworker regales whole lunchroom (mixed crowd--male/female) with the details of her recent lovemaking session, where a significant delay in getting back to the bedroom after applying spermicidal ‘foam’ causes lover to recoil in horror at what looks like rabies of the groin because of resulting leakage. This is not interesting. It’s: Too Much Information. (And funny as hell, but, you know, we're eating here....)

4. Reasons why Deep Space 9 is best Star Trek show evah? Not interesting. At. All.

How much are you worth?

I'm worth $1,721,077.04!



How much are you worth?


Thanks for the link, Suzanne!

And speaking of valuables, I just spent about 3 hours having 'high tea' with one of my best friends here at the King Edward Hotel. It was a very lovely time, and over much too soon. We moved to the lobby, once the Victoria room closed down and chatted for another hour and a half. You need friends to keep you centered, and to share a bit of pampering between yourselves as a benediction to how special you are to each other. :-)

Lazy, Long Post

I woke up today minutes after twelve, feeling like I did some major partying last night. I didn't. But the past week has been the pits, and very stressful, so I think my body/mind is enjoying the opportunity to fall apart. :-P It's 5:30 and I'm still in my pajamas, and my headache is only now abating...somewhat.

Anywho, I stumbled across a couple of interesting discussions today.

Sylvia Day and Alison Kent talk about the reluctance of fellow romance writers to critique each other's work *publicly*. I have this reluctance. I don't want to get caught in a flame war. I don't want those 5 rabid fans--(as opposed to the thousands of normal functioning adults ones)-- of Author X, who post on a gazillion messageboards all the day long, to tar and feather me all over cyberspace, just because I don't dig what their Queen has written.

Who needs that kind of grief?

I also don't want to shoot myself in the foot professionally if Author X's peers, crit partners, editor, agency, 'favorite reviewer' ect, decide that they are no fan of anyone who is no fan of author X. Everyone would like to rise above it all, yaddah,yaddah, but the fact remains that we're all human, shit happens, and memories are longer than some careers.... This industyr is tough enough, which newbie needs that kind of handicap going in? I like Paperback Writer's Take on the it: Do your business, then be on your way.

As a writer, I understand that most authors truly try to send their best out there (or at least their best first 3 chapters. snort), and I can see how feelings can get hurt. Yet the reader in me says it's not fair to my pocketbook if I don't hear the honest (if hurtful) opinions on various books/authors. I give wide berth to those sugary reviews with no depth, sign of critical thinking or intelligent dialogue. I have no use for them. And I thank God for reviewers like Mrs. Giggles, who give their unvarnished opinions, and places like All About Romance where the reviewers all say their piece and there are open forums for readers to post their own thoughts, rebuttals and feedback. I'll do the 'fake name' thing over there if I really feel I must say something publicly, but usually I keep my comments offline in private email exchanges with friends. Word of mouth is still word of mouth....

Speaking of AAR, they have a thread going on about the imminent demise of the Regency Historical. The thing that causes me concern here is the whole contemporary romance 'is the next big thing' mindset. Since that's sort of where I'm targetting, that should be a good thing, right? Lots of opportunities! Editors will be hungry for material! Except I think the same marketing formula that invaded Historicals -- Regencies with XYZ factors sold, everything else was given short shift--may come into play here. I'm not good at writing to (marketing) hooks. I'm still trying to find my voice and how I write. The inevitable 'narrowing' of focus re 'hooky' elements that will occur with the deluge of submissions chasing the 'next hot' thing doesn't bode well for a (beginer) writer like me.

On the other hand, because of this so called 'fatigue' of the recency set historical, we're already starting to see the market begin to open up to other eras and story/character types.

Finally, I ran across this post by Tony Pierce on how to be a successful blogger. gg. Suzanne McMinn did a column on this recently, and Alison has blog about having an attractive blog, that stands you out from the crowd and makes your site visually memorable. The one thing, most important thing, Tony forgot to mention,is: enjoy blogging. Do it because you enjoy it.

On to another Tony. Tony Falcon dropped by here earlier and left a nice comment. I followed the bread crumbs back to his place Life Undercover. He's a Texas NARC, and has some very interesting posts. Check him out.

This gentleman also has very interesting discussions going on at his blog. The Oxthodox world is completely foreign to me, so I find the comments sections--which usually run up to about 50 posts--facinating.

Back to the topic of writing, Larrissa Ione, Steph Tyler, and Jordan Summer's "You Ought to Know" posts offer some great pointers.

Time waster#988 & 989 - set to music

**Macromedia Flashplayer required

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston sing Usher's "My Boo".

Cruel. But, funny.

Evil. Me.

(By the way, I like Usher, but the sound bite gets a bit repetitive on this next one, feel free to turn your volume down.)

What Failed Celebrity Couple Are You?

Serves me right, cheater!

Preface: I hate spoilers.

You know when a book is sooooooooo good, you just hafta peek at the ending? When the current scene is so deliciously embarrassing and/or so thickly fraught with potential danger for the protagonist, that you must skip ahead to page four-hundred-and-the-paragraph-before-the-end? When a character is so beguiling, and so charming, that you're not sure if he really is a bad guy and the suspense is gonna kill ya, so you flip to the Very Last page and do a quick scan?


Luckily for me it was the excerpt for the next book. lol

7% Trashy, 36% Beeyotch, and 57% Fibre

I am 7% White Trash.

I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box.

Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

And that one night of passion with me n' my cuz Cletus? We's second cousins, man. Like that sheeit don' even count none. Weren't no good anyhow. Boy's as dumb as a jackrabbit and makes love like one too.

I am 36% Asshole/Bitch.

I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me.

Take the
Asshole/Bitch Test
@ FualiDotCom

A door shuts, then weeks later, a light goes on

I spent most of the morning wanting to curl into a tight ball of pain. I could've composed this letter (with some small revisions). But there was no time to compose letters, because I was up to my eyeballs in files. So I dragged my ass around the office and answered, all the clueless-- ie: male--questions of concern with, "Yes, I hurt my back" or "Yes, I am sick. Could be the flu...."

duh

Worked right through my lunch and stayed an hour later. Then, since the tiny evil elves of death had stopped line dancing in their spiked Doc Martens on my ovaries, I walked part of the way home, just to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. Needless to say, as per the quote of the day below, I am a failure. No writing. Just too darned tired. That's my excuse; I embrace it.

In fact on my way to bed now, but I just got hit with an epiphany, re probably the BIGGEST reason I was stuck on Odil's scene. Humor. This book is humorous.

duh.

When I got to Odil's pov I tried to make it all angsty, but Odil is a jerk, and he enjoys being that way. So, why was I giving him a Hamlet hair shirt to wear? :-P I'm sure the darker moments will come naturally; I shouldn't try and force them.

Now I'm going to read another chapter of Mr. Villatoro's excellent book, then lights out.

Oh, one more thing, on my way home I stopped in the UBS and picked up:

Kevin O'Brien's Left for Dead.


I think I may have to read this one after I'm done with Home Killings. (Although, not too thrilled to read the comments about typos, in the reader review section.)

And, Madeline Hunter's The Sinner.


I read The Romantic and absolutely fell in love with Julian, ::swwoooon::; and I have The Seducer waiting in the TBR pile, so this will be a nice addition to the series.

'K, nite.

Quote of the day:

Someone in HR sends these out daily(to boost company moral, I guess. ::snort:: ) Anywho, this one touched a nerve. I've got to suck up the whiny 'I'm too tired to write' crap and put the shoulder to the wheel.

"The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don't like to do. They don't like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose."

More whining about Odil

I have to backtrack, literally and figuratively regarding Odil. Though I have no time to write during the day – yeah, I’m writing now, but this blogging is ‘no-brainer, off the top of my head’ stuff, but at this point in the book I’m still ‘crafting’ and ‘shaping’ which takes a little more brain power—and I’m too zonked out at the end of the day, I still should be doing more. Scenes should be vivid in my mind (even if I can’t find the energy to write them) and they’re not.

Anytime I get stuck this way, it’s because something is wrong. I’ve visualized a character not as him/herself but as an element of the story to fulfill *my* ideas of the plot. Or I’m pushing the story in a particular direction to fit plot, rather than letting up on the reins so things flow in the general direction I’d like, while still allowing for those so crucial twists.

So last night in bed, I backtracked, and really examined Odil’s history. Some of the things I thought I knew about him were way off, and I found out a bit more about the people who mean something to him. I also realized I need to go back to that scene where he shuts the door in Zoe’s face and write it from his point-of-view--just for myself, I’ll still keep the scene’s p.o.v. ‘as is’—because Odil is reading like a total enigma at that point. I think if I get behind the motivation for his action (aside from the fact that he can be an asshole, gg) it’ll give me the key to his personality.

I’ll understand this stubborn man, if it kills me. He was supposed to be a puzzle to the heroine, not to his creator. sheesh.

Searching for a book that fits.

I’ve been having a devil of a time finding a book to read lately. Nothing has held my interest, or quite suited my mood. I must have started and stopped half a dozen books in the last month. In fact, I think I’ll have to change my side bar to show: "Abandoned", as well as "Reading" and "Read". gg

Last night, I started something I hope will be the trick. Home Killings by Marcos M. Villatoro.
This is the Canadian Cover:



So far so good –although I haven’t passed the magical chapter 3 mark, where most novels fall apart for me because the author has decided we were well and truly wed, so they didn’t have to impress me anymore and could do the literary equivalent of belching at dinner, farting in bed and forgetting our anniversary.

Anywho, things I like so far:

1. The pacing. Despite the details included (and there’s a quite a bit) it doesn’t slow things down one iota. They ‘feel’ relevant and necessary, adding to the setting, mood and characterization. I’ll have to re-read parts to see exactly how Mr. Villatoro is doing this. Normally too much detail—-even in a mystery-—make my eyes glaze over and I start to skim, but just this morning I read a page and a half of details re setting and he held my attention. (This wasn’t a crime scene, by the way.) Partly I think it’s sentence structure (including the use of the dreaded colon and semi-colon. gasp! Neener Neener to Da Rulz policia! gg ) variety of sentence structure, word choice, and the specific things he chooses to point out. Hmm, is an aside, this is reading more 'thriller' than mystery.

2. The heroine is Latino. Specifically of El Salvadoran heritage (but raised, if not born in the good old USA). Her heritage is not just lip service, and while the author isn’t beating you over the head with it either, it definitely a big part of who she is and how she thinks. It really is part of *character* rather than window dressing. Also, filtered through her pov, are the subtle differences of Mexican, vs El Salvadoran vs other Spanish speaking backgrounds. It adds texture to the story. Very often you’ll get a whole geographical, or racial group all presented as a big anonymous bland X factor.

3. The heroine is the rookie detective, and new in town, so there’s the subtext of sexism, and tiny bit of, not necessarily ‘racism’, but you see other characters making ‘assumptions’ about her because of her sex and heritage.

4. The story takes part in Nashville (in and around). Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t read a lot of books that use this city as a setting.

The back blurb mentions that she eventually gets partnered up with the ‘local hero’ detective, so I’m kinda hoping there will be some attraction evident there. I don’t need a full blown romance subplot, but a hint of possibilities, or a bit more than that, would be nice.

I’ll let you know how this book works out for me.

Lucky V-alentine

no need to thank me.

Slippery

Odil is a wily one. Yesterday, I wrote out two pages in long hand. (I have really tiny writing--comes from all those years hunched over a drafting board printing dimensions out in 1/8th scale--so it was quite a bit of writing.) I *thought* I'd made good progress with him (in his pov) touched upon some background stuff, and hinted at other things that he feared in himself (by extension planting the seeds in the reader's mind that Zoe also had to fear).

But when I opened up the ole wip (work in progress) not one word of those two hand-written pages made it into the document. There I was again, feeling around. Deleting, rearranging and fleshing out. I HATE this part of the process. This blindly feeling around in the dark--each word or phrase telling me if I'm getting 'hotter' or 'colder', but only after I've written them. ::groooaaaan.::

No use telling me to push forward, etc. At this stage of the game I have a fair understanding of the process of *how* I write. This is necessary. It's a 'Do not collect $200. Do not pass go' stage that I have to explore for the rest of the book to fall in place. Even if I had detailed outline, I'd still have to deal with this crap. But at least what got typed today, stays. It feels right. I'm peeling back the layers of the onion that is Odil, gg, and weaving in the threads of subplot. Now that I think about it, there's stuff in the notebook that I can use later.

Not sure how much I'm going to get done this week, with Toxic (expletive)Coworker on vacation, and my Aunt Cherry visiting. I guess I'll keep doodling in the note book, and see what happens. Other writers hate the 'sagging middle' or have trouble wrapping things up. But the beginings (first 3 chapters at least) are always the bitch for me.

The Best (& Worst) Valentine's Day

Another lazy /cheater post. This is from Chatelaine magazine (March 2005)--



When we asked about your dream Valentine's Days and disasters, the stories poured in! Read on to find out what melted your heart – or made you burn with anger.

My snowy valentine
My husband was working as a tow-truck driver one Valentine's Day early in our marriage. We had no money to celebrate, so I went to work with him so we could at least be together. I was pretty miserable, though. It started to snow and we drove to an empty parking lot. He drove the tow truck in a giant heart shape in the freshly fallen snow. Then he got out of the truck and used a broom handle to write "Mike Loves Angela" inside of the heart. It cost him nothing, but it meant the world to me. I can't remember every gift he ever bought me for Valentine's Day, but I'll always remember that big snowy heart.

Love rings true
When I met my husband more than 10 years ago, we drew a picture of my dream ring. Little did I know, he kept the drawing all those years and last Valentine's Day, he had it made for me. It has a heart on it that appears to be coming out of a teardrop. The teardrop is mine and the heart represents my husband coming into my life – curing my broken heart.

Just us girls
The best Valentine's Day I ever had was with a friend and her sister. We were all single at the time, so we went out for a candlelit dinner and then hit the bars. It was a blast. We had no expectations, so there were no disappointments.

Canned for Cupid
I had been married for just about two years and was eight months pregnant with our second child (my fourth). I wanted so badly to go out and celebrate Valentine's Day that my husband decided to miss work so we could have one last romantic night out before the baby was born. He told his boss that I had the baby that day and then took me out to dinner and a movie. When they found out the truth, they let him go for missing time, but he did it just so he could be with me.

So what was your best (or worst) Valentine's day? Nothing really stands out for me either way. If I was involved in a relationship, I got the usual--card, flowers, some token of his esteem/love/lust, and the expensive dinner routini, followed by wine soaked, calorie bloated, sugar enhanced, hot-monkey sex. You know, the usual. If I was single, Valentine's tended to come and go with barely a notice. Could care less. I know some single people mope, but why get so down on this particular day? You're single for the other 364 days of the year, why not spread the moping out so you have a general consistent level of depression for the whole 12 months? After while you wouldn't even notice....

Oh, shit, is that what's happened to me?

Ya know, I feel a bit of an insulin shock from those previous anecdotes. Bitter? Moi? So here's some more valentine's stories to balance things out a bit:

From Horizon Online

Anonymous
"My freshman year, I had the best Valentine's day of my life...or so I thought. When I woke up in the morning I had a dozen roses waiting for me on my front table, accompanied by a sweet card. Soon after my boyfriend picked me up and we spent the day together. That night we cooked dinner together and ate by candlelight. Everything had been perfect. The following day he told me that he had cheated on me the night before Valentine's day."

From the Valentines Story Contest running on New Orleans dot com

Grand Prize Winner
As a favor to a roomate, I agreed to go out on a Valentines Day double date with him, his girlfriend and her cousin who was visiting from out of town. He assured me that she was a fine little fox and if I played my cards right I could be "lucky" before the nights end. I should have known that something was up when he poured shot after shot of mind numbing alcohol for me before we set out to pick up the girls. But even with the darkness of night and a severe case of fuzzy vision I was still able to make out the form of not a fox but some other canine-type mammal. If my legs weren't so wobbly, I'm sure that I would have made a beeline for the nearest exit and washed my eyes out with soap. But true to my word to a friend, I sucked up my pride and walked together with Ms. Lassie into the restaurant. Unfortunately for me, it just happened to be the very same restaurant in which the girl who I had recently broke up with was sharing a cozy booth with a GQish type hunk.

As we passed their table on the way to our own, my Ex apparently felt it necessary to point and laugh at me in my time of self loathing as she snuggled even closer to her new beau. As if this wasn't pride deflating enough, as we were eating our meal, I realized that my date had the table manners of a rude viking as she burped and slurped her way through her own meal and half of mine. And as she reached over to snatch one of the few remaining meatballs on my plate, her hand knocked over a glass of water into my lap definitely putting a cold chilling end to any thoughts of "lucky" that remained. To add insult to injury, in her attempt to sop up the liquid embarrassment that pooled in my crotch, she up ended my dinner plate causing the rest of my meal to paint an Italian mural with tomato sauce onto my shirt. Needless to say, as we walked to the door on our way out, the familiar cackle of my ex-girlfriend filled my ears. If looks could have killed, I'm sure that I would have attended my roomate's funeral the next day.

heh.

Valentine,
Your assets are delightful.
Your beauty's not debatable.
But what I like about you best,
is that you're not inflatable.

Do You Take too many online Quizzes?

The irony of this one, is too obvious. gg

Do you take too many online quizzes? (My) Results

YOUR SCORE
48.4% 150.0 points out of 310

AVG SCORE
44.2% 136.9 points out of 310

29665 have taken this test so far.
10193 people have scored higher than you.
18010 people have scored lower than you.
1462 people made the same grade as you.

What does this mean?
150 points is in the 21 through 50 precent
Everyone taking this test has a problem with online quizzes, but your problem isn't nearly as bad as it could be. You take more tests than you should, but it doesn't interrupt your life, at least not as much as the rest of your online habits probably do.


lol. I love that last part underlined. Pathetic.

Here, see how you do: Bad Samaritan

Grumblings.

I was *supposed* to go out last night for dinner and then to a club. Quite frankly I wasn't that enthused about it. Not that I didn't want to see my girls, it was just that I'd gone out both nights last week-end, and this past week had been fairly hectic. Plus my Toxic Co-worker is off for the next week and a half, so the full work load will land on my shoulders. On one hand I'm glad Toxic-CW will be absent (I can't stand her ass), but on the other hand I know I'm going to be super, crazy busy. So I really wanted to take this week-end easy.

I've got my wish.

Yet, can't help being a bit pissy that my schedule got thrown off--I missed my gym workout last night because of the aborted dinner & club date, and held off on doing any writing while waiting for confirmation of our plans. I deliberately didn't phone anyone, hoping that it would get too late and I could beg off without anyone accusing me of 'copping out as usual'; but when it got obviously too late for dinner, I make a call. Turned out dinner wasn't going to happen (no sh*t) but they were still going clubbing. I take a pass and open up my wip. Did get some work done, but it could have been more.

Then today my local RWA chapter has a workshop. I was supposed to go (and pay my renewal fee--deadline Feb28). I thought the workshop would run during normal meeting hours 1-4, but when I get the genius idea to double check late this morning, turns out it's an all day affair that started at 9am!! *sigh* Maybe this is a sign that I shouldn't renew my membership? I only avg one meeting per year. Except they've got an awesome line up of speakers/work-shops this year, including Kelly Armstrong, Mary Balogh and Barbara Kyle aka Steven Kyle.

All is not lost, though, I'll go to the gym and then get some more writing done today. Plus the missed workshop was on Point-Of-View usage, and that's one of my stronger writing skills. Still waffling on renewing the membership, since I spend more time checking in (daily) with my online chapter. Maybe I'll just show up for the local meetings I'm interested in, and pay the $5 guest fee.

My Frankenstein

I'm obviously fixated on heroes lately. :-P Normally I don't base characters (looks-wise) on real people/celebrities. If I am influenced at all, it tends to be bits and peices--a particular sense of humour here, a certain walk there, this person's hair, etc. But with Odil I started out with The Rock. Odil (supposedly) looked like him. For about 1 week. g. Then as I started writing, his hair turned white and his eyes a really pale shade of blue-grey. But it still wasn't quite him. And I kept looking at pics of Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) hoping to catch that elusive tail of whatever was *missing*, the thing that would put me right in his head, rather than standing beside him.

Then last night, ds, for about the gazillionth time, conned me into watching/reading something on the upcoming Star Wars movie. (Much to ds' despair, I think this lastest prequel is going to (more or less) sux, like the last two, and the ONLY reason I'm going to see it, is to see the moment Annikin turns into Vader--which I'm pretty sure will be all special effects and gympdom re depth of characterization. And therefore REFUSE to get excited about the movie. But I digress) I caught a bit of a trailer for an upcoming movie that John Travolta is doing. Not *Be Cool* (which is totally going to, rock!), but some other, 'angsty' movie.... where the character he's playing has grey/white hair. Hey! That's Odil's hair! In fact there's something about this Travolta character, that seems a little more Odil than the Rock's personna. Ooo, this is good. It feels good. And right. Then I remember the jerk Hugh Jackman played in the movie with Ashley Judd, based on Laura Zigman's book, Animal Husbandry, that growly jerkish, slothful personality is Odil. So there's my Frankenstein. gg. I'm sure as I write him, he'll flesh out more and be completely his *own person*, but he feels more concrete now.

This is the last time I start a story idea with PLOT. I'm character-driven writer, and just can't get it together until the characters are 'fixed' in my mind.

Unmasked as a sexist.

Yesterday in the ‘Tinkerbelle’ discussion below, one of my comments/replies stuck in my mind, because it seemed such backwards sexist thinking. I wrote that I didn’t want my Hero to be ‘powerless’. Vulnerabilities, hints of darkness, faults and weakness? Fine. But not ‘powerless.’

Later that evening, I came across a discussion on a listserve where one person noted that the allure of the Vampire hero was that he was Dark and Masterful, but because of the ‘fantasy’ aspect, his Uber-Alpha arrogance was rendered much more palatable. (I’m putting my own interpretation on the poster’s comments, here.) Yet, the thing bugging me, was that I realized I didn’t have the same reservations for the heroine; I didn’t mind at all if she was position of powerlessness in the story. No, wait! Before you tear up my membership card to the sisterhood, hear me out.

I don’t want my hero in a position of powerlessness because I want him to be ‘brought to his knees’ during the course of the story. Not literally, but whatever distant plane he existed on, where love did not touch him, he didn’t believe in it, I want him knocked off of it. I want love to come down on him like a sledge hammer. I want him to understand and experience the sacrifice, pain, joy, contentment, passion, support, etc of love. And I wanted him to do all this while still being the ‘Alpha’ that I adore.

Conversely, I want(ed) the heroine to show her intelligence, strength, resourcefulness, confidence as part of her growth arc. So if she was powerless in some way at the beginning of the story, by the end she should have achieved some sort of power, gained insight, moved forward. Ironic—and stupid—that I should think that for him to be better, he needs to be brought down, and for her to be better, elevated. But there it is.

I know the above statements won’t bear too close inspection, it’s twisted logic, yet it’s the best I can do to explain what I’m thinking. Does anyone else think this way? I know some readers are very fond of the *Big Grovelling* scene, where the arrogant hero confesses his love and begs the heroine's forgiveness for being such an asshole. This is the literal manifestation of what I'm talking about, (some people even want to see him "on his knees") but I don't really mean (or need) that.

Time waster #8

This link got dropped into my inbox as part of a newsletter. There's like 50 questions. Hence the time-waster title. And you have to sign in to get the results. (gyp.) But it was fun. Don't think the number means anything, but the conclusion--that I'm 50% creative 50% analytical--is dead on.

IQ Test at Tickle dot com

Congratulations, Vanessa!
Your IQ score is 135

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.



Your Intellectual Type is Visionary Philosopher. This means you are highly intelligent and have a powerful mix of skills and insight that can be applied in a variety of different ways. Like Plato, your exceptional math and verbal skills make you very adept at explaining things to others — and at anticipating and predicting patterns. And that's just some of what we know about you


**update** hmm, for some reason I couldn't post the link without my email coming up, and when I linked to their home page, I couldn't find the IQ test. Sorry. But it looks like they have a bunch of other time-waster tests. Just don't sign up with your 'good' email addy. I didn't sign up for their newsletter, but something tells me they just might start bombarding me anyway. :-P

**update ps** That's quite a bit of smoke up my ass with the analysis, isn't it? And for my next astonishing feat, I will attempt to walk on water....

Tinkerbelle doesn’t ring my chimes.

I’ve just been reading some reviews and came across a couple that were on books featuring Fae heroes. Now I know these heroes are modeled along the lines of ‘Orlando Bloom/Legolas’, but, for me, fairies have always been either 1) politically incorrect slang (before there was such a term) for a gay man, 2) a beautiful or grandmotherly type woman with magical powers, a la Grimm’s Brothers fairytales, or 3) Tinkerbelle.

Panties? Dry.

On the other hand, I love vampires. For someone who can’t stand needles (I always avert my head) I have no problem when Captain Forehead sinks his fangs into the heroine’s neck. Maybe this is because the fu, er, 'fanging' usually occurs while they’re bumping uglies. heh.

Werewolves. Luv em. I see gorgeous Alpha man. Then I see beautiful, noble wolf. I *know* the stage of transition between the two is gruesome. Yet I persist on seeing gorgeous man then, poof! beautiful noble wolf. Man. Wolf. Man. Wolf. No ugly monstrous in-between creature. And no ass licking!

Ghosts. Hmm. Lasher anyone? Yum.

Merman? I haven’t read one yet, but I plan to. Suzanne Mcminn has one as the hero for book three in her Paxleague series.

Warlock or Sorcerer? Demon? Genie? It’s all good. And Susan Squires’ Body Electric features a hero who starts out as a computer program/artificial intelligence; the book is in my tbr pile.

Now while Christine Warren may very well seduce me into changing my mind about a fae heroe, for the time being, Legolas-types remain pretty-boys with pointy ears, pointy chins and a tragic Billy Idol complex re the peroxide.

Strange Happenings

Remember my post on twins? Well I just read this small blurb in the paper last night, then picked it up on google from AOL News this morning:

IASI, Romania (AP) - A 33-year-old Romanian woman who gave birth to a son in December on Monday gave birth to his twin brother almost two months later in what has been called a medical first in Romania.

The mother, Maricica Tescu, has two uteruses due to a rare congenital malformation, said Mircea Onofriescu, a doctor who manages the Cuza Voda Maternity Hospital in the northeast city of Iasi.

Tescu gave birth Monday to a 5.7 pound baby boy by Caesarean section, 59 days after giving birth vaginally to the first child, a 3.5 pound boy.

The two babies and the mother are doing well, Onofriescu said.

The first baby now weighs the same as his brother, and the two will be released from the hospital at the same time, after about a week.

Just goes to show fact is stranger than fiction. I'm thinking this would be a fun twist in a story. If it was historical the mother/heroine would be accused of consorting with the 'devil', for instance. This is the sad thing about being a writer, we're the oxpeckers on the rino rump of life. Everything is fair game for a story idea. gg

"This lovely neck will be chopped as soon as I say so,"

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

You are Gaius Caesar Germanicus - better known as Caligula!

Third Emperor of Rome and ruler of one of the most powerful empires of all time, your common name means "little boots". Although you only reigned for four years, brief even by Roman standards, you still managed to garner a reputation as a cruel, extravagant and downright insane despot. Your father died in suspicious circumstances, you were not the intended heir, and one of your first acts as Emperor was to force the suicide of your father-in-law. Your sister Drusilla died that same year; faced with allegations that your relationship with her had been incestuous, you responded, bafflingly, by declaring her a god.

You revived a number of unpopular traditions, including auctions of properties left over from public shows. When a senator fell asleep at one such auction, you took each of his nods as bids, selling him 13 gladiators for a vast sum. You attempted to have your horse, Incitatus, made into a consul and hence one of the most powerful figures in Rome. It was granted a marble stable with jewels and a staff of servants. At one point you forced your comrade Macro to kill himself - in much the same vein as your father-in-law - accusing him of being his wife's pimp. You, of course, were having an affair with said wife at the time.

Things went from bad to worse. When supplies of condemned men ran short in the circus, you had innocent spectators dragged into the arena with the lions to fill their place. You claimed mastery of the sea by walking across a three-mile bridge of boats in the Bay of Naples; kissed the necks of your lovers, whispering sweet nothings like "This lovely neck will be chopped as soon as I say so,"; dallied with your sister's lover and made her pull her unborn child out of her womb prematurely. Towards the end of your reign, you had a golden statue of yourself made and dressed each day in the same clothes you yourself wore. When you eventually died, the terrified people of Rome refused to believe that such a cruel reign could ever end, and believed you to be alive for years afterwards.

This ever happen to you?

You get a 'fixed' image in your head of what a protagonist looks like, and even the author's own descriptions can't dislodge it? I can't recall this happening before, but I'm reading Amanda Quick's Wait Until Midnight, and for some reason the heroine, Caroline is set in my mind as built along the lines of Holly Hunter with brown 'fly-away' hair, curly and baby-fine, yet she's described as having thick, blonde, straight hair. Every time this description is mentioned I stumble over it. :-P

Can you believe it's only Tuesday? ugh. I normally look forward to the week-end, but this week-end I'm busy, again. I went out for dinner last Friday and Saturday, (different people each time.) and this Friday I'm going to see a play and do the dinner thing, then on Saturday it's my RWC chapter meeting--we're having Alicia Rasley give a workshop on plotting. (that last sentence needs serious help.) I really am a bit of a hermit, just popping out to do a bit of socializing every now and again, then back into my cave/nest. All this socializing is damaging my psyche. lol.

Some text to go with the new visual

The new header reminds me of this scene from ms#2.

“Winston?”

“Hmmm?” He focused on the lushness of Raine’s mouth.

“Something wrong? You’re frowning.” She languidly rearranged her limbs, one long leg over the other in a whispery slide of silk stocking that drew his attention. He glimpsed black lace.

“What’s wrong? Nothing. I guess I’m still hungry.”

She looked pointedly at his half eaten dessert as she laid down her fork.

“That’s not what I’m hungry for.”

“Oh, yeah?” Raine wetted her bottom lip and moved her leg closer to Winston’s, rubbing along his calf. She’d never underestimated a good game of footsies; in her experience all that rubbing was bound to start a fire. Somewhere. A muscle jumped in Winston's jaw and she smiled. Of course she knew exactly what he was craving. Hell, he couldn’t have been more obvious if he tied a bib on and grabbed hold of her thighs.

But that was okay. She liked ‘obvious’.... Raine flicked a glance at his lap—-those slim-cut plain-front pants of his couldn’t hide squat. My man was packing something large and fairly lethal looking.

Desire flooded low in her belly and her heart jumped to her throat. And Winston kept stroking her neck in tiny little circles. Oh Lord. Raine barely refrained from fanning herself. She could only hope when the time came and Mr. Oliveri was riding high in the saddle—-so to speak—-she wouldn’t be screaming like some crack ho banshee with Tourette’s.

I gott 99 problems, but a book ain't one.

This is Alison's fault. She posted about CE Murphy's Urban Shaman


It's not released yet, I found out. But not one to waste a perfectly good trip to the bookstore, and the opportunity to raid ds' college fund, I bought the following:

Digital Knight by Ryk E. Spoor. I was "hand sold" this by the sales associate. It's a sci-fi mystery involving a vampire crimelord. lol.


Cece will be happy to know I'm giving Dean Koontz another try. Picked up his Frankenstein--Book One of Prodigal Son.


The cover of this one caught my eye (back and front) and the story sounds interesting. So I'll give it a shot.


One thing, though, the hero's name is Khan, and everytime I see it, I think of this stupid site, ds has bookmarked. lol!


I have several of the Saint-Germain vampire Chronicles, so I grabbed this one,


Been hearing good buzz on the next three books on various messageboards and loops, so bought:

Hunter's Moon by CJ Addams & Cathy Clamp,


Sunshine by Robin McKinley,


And The Huntress by Crystal Green.


Guess I was in the mood for some horror.

**Update** One more book mention. I was just replying to Jorie's comment and thought I don't want to hide this recommendation in comments. I read this fantasy(?) sci-fi(?) years ago, but it's stuck in my mind. Great book. I'll have to pick it up for my keeper shelf (got if from the library originally). It's Sean Stewart's Galveston.

"Galveston, Texas, is an island already rich in history and eccentric characters when, during Mardi Gras in the year 2004, sudden magic floods the streets. The world is changed--divided between the real city, where technology and its products become unreliable and scarce, and the city doomed to endless carnival, where it is always 2004 and there are still such wonders as cigarettes, cold beer, and aspirin.


Fun book with one of those complex protagonists that you swing between liking, feeling sorry for and disliking. gg. "Real" people are like that, aren't they? While I prefer to write characters that fall a little more solidly in the 'likeable' range, complexity and spice and dimension, and taps into the emotions.

You Likey?

Ta-dah!! After much time wasting, gg, I have a new title block. Sexy, Mysterious, and playful, no?

Trying to figure out how to do this had been driving me crazy since I got this blog! Now I'm happy. Gives the page a little extra omph! of personality.

Surprising...

Since I'm a character driven writer. But on the other hand, because I think I do 'character' fairly well, I have been focusing on plot lately.


You're a Plot writer!


What kind of writer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Time Waster #132

Some examples from The Absolutely Bottom 50 Superhero Rivals.

1. The Average Avenger vs. The Nefarious Pat of Butter
2. Madame Kick-Ass vs. The Iron Nose
3. The Guy Who Beats People to a Bloody Pulp vs. Tito!
4. Mister Mixed Drinks vs. The Betty Ford Defender
5. The Human Spurt vs. Gonorrhea Gal
6. Larva Lad vs. Monsignor Masturbato
7. Captain Comb-over vs. The Midnight Schmuck
8. Commander Clitoris vs. The Phantom Accessorizer
9. Old Curmudgeon vs. Da Rapmasta
10. The Sticky Philatelist vs. Dust Devil
11. Minority Blind Guy vs. The Uppity Maître D’
12. Pre-Menstrual Girl vs. Gay Mark's Super Crisis
13. Baby Wetshimself vs. PaperCutz
14. Brooding Righteousness vs. The Flaming Wonton
15. De-Clawed Kitty vs. Corporate Facilitator
16. Amazing Pimple vs. The Blue Corpse
17. The Amazing Lawn Gnome vs. Lewd Remark Catapult
18. Stigmata Jimmy vs. The Scab-Picker


You can find more Absolute Bottom 50 lists here. Oh, com'on, you knew there was a catch to this. It's a Time Waster post.

Time Waster #1057

The ferris wheel game was my favourite.

You're welcome.

heh.

Taking time to smell the roses.

Sometimes the most important part about writing is, not.

I haven’t written a lick for the last week—-partly too busy, partly exhaustion, partly due to prioritizing for other important things in my life.

But all was not lost, because I was turning things over in my mind; thinking about the motivations and responses of my main protagonists, Odil and Zoë. Thinking about the pacing and threads of subplots I could pick up in the next section. After all of that, I now have fairly good idea of what the current chapter should include/touch upon. If I had ‘pushed ahead’ I think the story would have gone in another—not as satisfying—direction.

So, I’m learning. Before I used to beat myself up with guilt if I wasn’t actually writing, but I now know that the quiet times in between the actual writing always delivers interesting insights and reveals other directions and options regarding the story development. Stuff I would have missed, if I’d forced myself to focus on making the page count for the day.

More on Blah,blah,blah,blah,blah

Further to the blog post below, read here for a more in-depth take on 'Showing vs Telling'.

And Cranky Reader made this comment over on her blog: (why is it that both CC and Sandra Brown use a lot of tell and not a lot of show in their books? Obviously they're more focused on storytelling than writing, but geez...)

I know what she's saying here, and yet, I sort of look at it in the flipmode. Despite the presence of the word 'telling', I think of storytelling as showing. Remember those great storytellers you've known, whether it was a grandparent, or a camp counselor? They projected emotion, using facial expression, and hand movements, changing the tone and decibel of their voice, adding asides that gave insight into the characters, setting and situation. They were 'engaging' you, setting the stage. Putting on a 'show'.

'Writing', could mean anything from a grocery list to an article. For me, it refers to a process, to something a little more "dry bones", technical, factual, 'telling'. It can engage me, but most likely it's on a more cerebral level than a gut/emotional one. Preferably, I'd like a bit of both in my reading (novels), but would choose the latter over the former, any day. I can read textbooks or the newspaper to exercise the ol grey matter.

My final argument? How many times have you heard someone complain (re a novel) that the storytelling got in the way of the writing? How many times have you heard, or said, the reverse?

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

I’ve tried to start two books this week, for reading during the commute to and from work. One was a new-to-me writer, the other was a much loved author, who, although she has many books sitting on my keeper shelf, I haven’t read anything new by her recently. Both stories suffered from the same affliction. What’s up with the ‘telling’?

I’m not a ‘rules’ nazi, I understand that telling has it’s place in advancement of plot and development of character, but there are ways and then there are ways.

Please don’t telegraph what is going to happen. If you have the heroine noticing the circus camped just outside of town, that’s enough. That she notices. If you want to tie that into some deeper angst—fear of clowns, how she wishes she had the freedom/time to visit, yaddah, yaddah—fine. Move on, move forward. Most readers will ‘get’ that at some point heroine will be visiting the circus. No need to go on, and on, about how tempted she is to go, but she shouldn’t, yet she doesn’t know if she can resist the temptation. Stop! Step away from the schizoid introspection.

Also, guess what? I paid for a book. Not just the first 3 *sparkly* chapters. Why bother to captivate me in the beginning, only to bore drag me, and the story development, down into dullsville by the middle. Make the whole book sparkle, damn you! gg. Unless your name is Jay Peterman, and you're trying to sell me something, I don’t need every little detail of setting, clothing, facial expression, thought process, etc. If you must ‘tell’ me what so-and-so is wearing, or itemize every thing in a room, relate it to mood, character, etc. Make the detail move the story along, deepen characterization, etc.

When things happen, events are described, dialogue is exchanged, but nothing really happens(?)—again in terms of plot development, conflict deepening/resolution, characterization—then nothing really happened(!), except me skimming past the verbiage. The term ‘filler’ sound familiar?

Conversation ‘tells’ suck too. Stilted dialogue where the author’s HEAVY hand is too intrusive, because a point has to be made, or an epiphany reached, also sucks. I can read between the lines. I enjoy it. Bet I could read between the authors' lines too, if they drew them with a fine tip rather than a paint roller.

Too Much Information

So I’m still exhausted. Just not getting enough sleep. (Hence my absence from the blog yesterday).

This is my lazyman’s post. I’m using a joke/chain email. Supposedly this quiz reveals fascinating facets of one’s self to unsuspecting friends and family. My answers are in blue. (Isn’t this exciting! ?)

1. What time did you get up this morning? Too damn late. 7:49 am. Which poses a problem since I’m supposed to be at my desk by 8 am and it’s a 30 min commute.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. Note the plural.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Incredibles.
4. What is your favourite TV show? CSI- Las Vegas. Grissome Rules. Horatio drools (and mumbles, and never looks you in the eye.)
5. What did you have for breakfast? Coffee & a bran muffin.
6. What is your middle name? Hot-Stuff. What, you thought they were calling to you?
7. What is your favourite cuisine? The food of love. Feed me sweet tiny cupcake kisses, salty urgings, heated taffy glances, and a big sausage. Barring that, Italian will do.
8. What foods do you dislike? Tripe. And Goat Head Soup. (Don't ask how I discovered these dislikes)
9. What is your favourite crisp/chip flavour? Plain, preferably, LAYS. I also like lays w/o the chip factor.
10. What is your favourite CD at the moment? The Ultimate Diva Collection (Sarah, Ella, Dinah, Billie, Nina, Etta, etc)
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? My Anklebus (feet)
12. Favourite sandwich? Tuna on brown, light mayo, lettuce, tomatoes.
13. What characteristics do you despise? Dishonesty, and poor hygiene--which in it’s own way is a form of dishonesty.
4. Favourite item of clothing? P.J.'s.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Someplace hot, exotic and all inclusive. (that’s the way I like my men too, btw)
16. What colour is your bathroom? White with silver accents.
17. What colour pants are you wearing? Burgundy with a beige fleur de lis micro pattern/design.
18. Where would you retire to? Home.
19. Favourite time of the day? Any time *after* work.
20. What was your most memorable birthday? 29. Each and every time.
21. Where were you born? Gloucester, England.
22. What's the last thing you ate? Non-anatomical? Coffee and a Brand muffin.
23. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? What’s that colour that gets used often, broken in half, the dog tries to eat, then it gets lost under the fridge to form an ungoing science project? Yeah, that crayon would be me.
24. Favourite flower? Peonies.
25. What fabric detergent do you use? TIDE or SUNLIGHT
26. Coke or Pepsi? COKE all the way, baby!
27. Do you wish on stars? The ones that fly out of my butt? Yeah. All the time.
28. What is your shoe size? 8
29. Do have any pets? Does my son count?
30. Last person you talked to on the phone? One of my best friends - Janice
31. What did you want to be when you were little? Architect.
32. What are you meant to be doing now? Not working; managing my millions.
33. What do you first notice about someone? From the front, eyes and smile. From the back, his butt, shoulder-width and his walk, on a man; clothing and hair on women.
34. Siblings? 4 brothers (two deceased) and 3 sisters.
35. What was your favourite toy as a child? Electric train set, and rubber ball. My current favorite combines rubber and electic. Funny how that worked out.
36. Summer or WINTER? Summer
37. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses
38. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Vanilla.
39. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? Unless someone reneges on our deal, hopefully to 100 years old. No arrangements made for after that.
41. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? December, 21, 2004 12:15am
42. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? Mr. Pinky (props to Vanessa aka Dream for that one, gg) and a family of giant vegetarian dust bunnies. (Hey, I do have pets!)
43. How many past lovers have you had? Cosmo says never to answer that question, or to say '3'. So my answer is, 2 ½.
44. HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE YOU VISITED? 4
45. How MANY CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED? 3
46. FAVOURITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME? I like a lot of movies. Hard to pick. Off the top of my head, anything Tarrantino, and I really liked The Thomas Crown Affair (remake)
47. MOUNTAINS OR BEACH? Beach
48. THE CURRENT FRIEND YOU'VE KNOWN THE LONGEST? Janice (not the Janice I was speaking to in question #30) We've know each other for 17 years, since we were both a couple of dewey-eyed 12yrs in junior high orchestra. For those of you doing the math, that makes me 29yr.
49. FULL NAMES OF YOUR KIDS? Pension Plan slash Retirement Home Provider. That's quite a mouthful, so we call him 'Slash' for short.
50. USUAL BEDTIME? 12:00 p.m. (which could explain the 7:49 wake up time)

Now you know everything there is to know about me. And if you believe that, here comes a shooting star to wish upon.

Wrecked.

I drank waaaay too much coffee/black tea over the weekend and don't think I slept a wink last night. Then it was up n' at em early this morning to get to work, and then I hit the gym afterwards. <--My BIG commitment this year. No slacking off or excuses.

Anywho, came home a wreck. Dead tired. So no blogging, but thought I'd point y'all in the direction of some good reading.

1. Crimson Ink (editor) has some words to the wise (writers).

2. Steph is querying exactly what is woman's fiction?

3. Jorie poses some interesting questions about the recent blogging explosion, particularly re romance writers. She makes some very, very, good points--some of which I w/could refute, but only mildly, so. I think--for the majority--she's *mostly* right.

4. Wendy talks about 'voice' Distinctive vs intrusive.

5. Jordan wonders if author's promotional items--bookmarks, magnets, pens--have any influence on would-be purchasers. This would-be purchaser said 'no'. A juicy excerpt is a much more powerful selling tool, imo.

Check them out, and join in the conversation.